Inevitable Suffering
by ElectricEnchantment
Summary: Morgana and Arthur are forced to marry and on their special day the King commits an unforgivable crime against Morgana so Morgana refuses to bore the next heir of Camelot with his son, so Uther resorts to his last option: Nimueh, but is all as it seems?
1. Chapter 1 Forced Decisions

**[ Hello! :) Okay, so this storyline came to me one night and I started writing it straight away- I'd very much like to continue this story since I feel there is a lot of places I could with it, and I feel that the storyline hasn't really been done before. Of course, please tell me what you think in a review if you want me to keep on at this story, although I would very much like to but of course I won't if I don't get enough feedback since, what's the point? Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this first chapter- if I do continue writing it then the next few chapters will be action packed, so you could say this chapter is the calm before the storm? ;) Enjoy! :D ]**

**Chapter 1**

"_Forced Decisions._"

"Father, please!" Morgana begged, in the privacy of her bedchambers, as her father sat lumbered on her bed, whilst she paced back and forth, face painted with worried expressions and a broken disposition of unsettling rage. "Morgana, it's for the best- you'll see that." Gorlois explained, obviously anxious as his daughter's constant pacing. "The best?" Morgana said, stopping and turning to her father, raising her eyebrow. "How is marrying an utter stranger for the best!" Morgana half-cried in despair, as the thought made her squirm in disgust. "Arthur is not a stranger- you know him well." Gorlois told her, annoyed by her remark. "Yes, but not well enough to be his wife!" Morgana snapped back, although the rage was wiped away by how frightened and worried she was. "I had to marry your mother and I did not know her at all, you're lucky." Gorlois explained, trying to ease Morgana's worry. "I'm _lucky_?" Morgana said in disbelief. "Yes father, I'm sure you envy me terribly!" Morgana snapped sarcastically, as she sat on the stool of her vanity mirror. "It was different with you and mother, you loved her- did you not?" Morgana pleaded for it to be true, for her circumstances to be different. "We grew to love each other over time..." Gorlois admitted. "Like you will Arthur." Her father smiled, placing a hand on her forearm, to soothe her, but she shook it off and stood up again. "I could never grow to love that loathsome arrogant pig!" Morgana spoke down her nose in disgust, in anger- before she sat back down again and stared into her father's eyes, begging for him to understand that she did not want to do this. "Please... Please father, don't make me marry Arthur, I beg of you." She cried in despair, wanting not to be forced, for him to leave her be. "I will not make you." Gorlois said, placing a gloved hand on her shoulder. "But you will upset me greatly, Uther is a good man- it will break our friendship if I inform him that I do not want you to marry his son." Morgana sighed in defeat, she saw the disappointment in her father's eyes, she did not want to make him unhappy, to not make him proud- he wouldn't forget this, she knew of it. She broke the gaze, not wanting to meet his pleading eye. "You know Arthur, that in itself is better than most." Gorlois informed her, trying to change her mind. "You know the Pendragon's are good people, I would not push you in harms way, you know that." Gorlois told his daughter, urging her to know that it was for the best. "But I do not want to leave you." Morgana said, returning her gaze to her father's, she wanted him to notice that she was deeply upset more than anything at the thought of leaving her father. "You are a woman now." He told her, in a sort of chuckle as his hand cradled her face and his thumb stroked her cheek. "Once I leave tomorrow, I cannot come back- I will have to live in Camelot, share a bed with... Arthur- I don't want to." She said, staring at her father, knowing that the more she thought about it, the more she did not want to- she didn't want to leave home, to marry the Prestigious Prince or to leave her father. "My child, you are marrying a Prince- most women would die to take your place." Gorlois told her, with a warm tone. "Well then let them have it!" Morgana prompted with a hint of anger in her voice. "One day you will be Queen, can't you see that this is for the best?" Gorlois snapped, annoyed by his daughter's disapproval. "It's all happened too quickly, I barely have time to process it before I'll be wed." Morgana sighed, wanting for it all to end- for things to return to the way they were carefree. "Fine." Gorlois said, snapping his hand from Morgana's face violently, and standing up. "Father..." She begged, as he headed for the door- she did not want to upset her father, and she knew if she didn't obey him that he would be cold with her, she would be the cause for the betrayal of Uther and the broken friendship she would cause if she didn't obey her father's wishes. She sighed heavily, closing her eyes and opening her mouth to speak. "I will marry him." She told her father, as he reached for the door. "But I do not do so willingly." She admitted, looking up now, eyes open for her father to turn around and respond. "You will see in time, that it is for the best." Gorlois smiled, as he turned his head to her, giving a small nod before he left the room, leaving Morgana with her acquired sorrows that the day after next she would no longer be Morgana Le Fay, but Morgana Pendragon- the thought make her squirm in disgust.

"Morgana." Came the delicate knock on her bedroom door, before her handmaid Guinevere emerged from behind it. "Morgana." Guinevere commented again, only her tone was more shocked to find her Lady by the window, fully dressed and hair already done- as well as the bed made. "What are you doing up?" Guinevere asked, as she went over to empty her wash basin. "I couldn't sleep." Morgana admitted, as she played with the tassels of the curtains in her hand, absent-mindedly looking out the window. "Theres no need to be anxious, Milady." Guinevere soothed, turning to look at her as she emptied the water. "Oh, of course not- I just have the simple matter of being someone's wife within the next 24-hours." Morgana snapped sarcastically, making a face at Guinevere as she went over to her wardrobe, to see it was already emptied, everything was packed and ready to go. "Morgana." Guinevere ushered, rushing over to her and placing both her hands on her shoulders. "It's alright." Guinevere soothed, as she wrapped her arms around the distraught Morgana. "My mother was a maid for one of Uther's Knights, it was a good place- they treated her kind." Guinevere said, pulling away and smiling so she could see Morgana's face. "Yes, but I'm not a maid- am I?" Morgana snapped, but regretting the words as soon as they left her lips. "I'm sorry- I didn't mean it like that..." Morgana apologized, but Guinevere brushed her off. "I understand- but you must know theres nothing to be frightened about." Guinevere calmed, but the words were anything but warm to Morgana's ears. "I don't want to marry him Gwen." Morgana admitted finally, the horror and vulnerabilty clear in her eyes. "I know." Guinevere whispered as she hugged Morgana again, rocking slightly- she knew Morgana didn't want to marry Arthur, and it didn't matter what great fortune it brung, she didn't want it.

"Morgana!" Gorlois beamed, marching down the dining hall to greet her. "You're things are all packed up and ready to go, the coach is waiting- but first you must have a good strong breakfast, come." Gorlois grinned, as he placed his arm around Morgana and pulled her along to her seat. She winced when he said that all her things were packed, this was it- there was no going back. She sat down at her seat, feeling nausea as she glanced down at her full plate of bacon and such. "Are you alright my child? Have your nightmares returned?" Gorlois asked, peering his head around to see her face. "Yes." She whispered quietly. "Only, it feels like I'm still dreaming." She said, meeting her father's gaze, her face full of horror and despair. "Please..." She tried begging again, crumbling at the Breakfast table, feeling tears warm her eyes and stream rapidly down her face as she brought her hands up to lighten the sobs. Gorlois sighed and sat back in his seat. "You must stop all of this Morgana." He told her annoyed, but wanting to comfort her all the same. "I don't want to go." She muttered out through sobs, embarrassed that she was crying in front of her father and the standing servants, but she couldn't help it- she didn't want to leave her father, to leave her home- she didn't want things to change. "Please father." She begged, breaking down, wanting to flee from the dining room and to her bedchambers, but they were no longer hers, she would be pushed into Camelot- a place she could never call home. She sobbed, into her hands, before bringing her hands away and tried to swallow the painful lumps in her throat. "Please don't make me go." She tried to explain, though her voice was wavering on meltdown again. "You must do this, you cannot live here forever." Gorlois informed her, resting his hand on the table. "Why can't I? Why are you pushing me away?" Morgana asked, her voice shaky as she spoke, she felt as though her father no longer wanted to share a home with her, as though he were forcing her to go out and make a life for herself- foolish thoughts but thoughts all the same. "Good heavens Morgana, catch a grip of yourself!" Gorlois snapped, annoyed at his daughter for being so childish in times like these. "You are a woman now, you _will _marry, I cannot be there to hold your hand through the rest of your life!" He snarled, standing up and throwing his napkin down on the table with force and aggression. "I will wait for you in the carriage." He spat, before marching out of the dining hall and leaving a broken Morgana to blubber alone. The words cut through Morgana like a knife; they were harsh and cold, her father had never spoken to her in such a way, he wasn't his compassionate self. She sobbed and blubbered for a few moments longer, before she straightened up and swallowed her sobs, her voice shaking and on the verge of breaking down again, but she stoppered them none-the-less, before she too finally got up and walked from her home as Morgana LeFay for the very last time.

"Come on son, have you lost your appetite?" Uther urged at his son who sat beside him at the dining table. Arthur shook his head as he stared down at his large bowl of porridge, revolting. "You'll need your strength." Uther urged, as he dug into his buttered bread. "I'm not hungry." Arthur told him, as he pushed the bowl away. "Don't give me that..." Uther said, chewing his bread as he stared at his son. "I know you're nervous about tomorrow, but you cannot be like this when they arrive." Uther explained, trying to reason with his son, wanting Arthur to meet his eye- but Arthur could not his eyes to meet his father's. "What if I don't _want_ to get married?" Arthur snapped through gritted teeth, meeting his father's gaze for the first time. "Nonsense." Uther commented, sitting back on his chair. "You'll offend the Lady Morgana, as well as cause a rivalry between her father and I- we wouldn't want that." Uther told him, as though it were common knowledge. "Yes, we wouldn't want that..." Arthur replied sarcastically, mostly speaking to himself rather that to his father. The two ate in silence, before the loud sound of a carriage and people talking caused them to make their way from the throne room, and to the entrance of the castle.

"Uther!" beamed Gorlois proudly, throwing his arms around his old Friend, as Morgana stood beside him, looking quite timid and pale- not wanting to meet the eye of the Prince standing beside the King, knowing that he would soon be her husband, and she would be forced to look at him in a way other than her friend. "Gorlois!" Uther replied as he chuckled, before going to kiss the hand of Morgana. "Morgana." He grinned, "My Lord." She said, giving a small curtsey looking very awkward and scared. "Welcome to Camelot." He smiled gently, but the words cut her like a knife, 'Welcome to Camelot'- welcome to your home- no, never! "Are you alright?" Came the concerned voice of the King, she had foolishly made her fearful thoughts apparent on her face. "Eh...Yes." She said, looking up to the King and giving a timid smile, before he smiled back approvingly. "I'll let you go get sorted- you must dine with my son and I tonight." Uther told both Gorlois and Morgana, slapping his old friend on the upper-arm. _'I must dine with you and my husband...'_ thought Morgana, giving a shudder, before Guinevere entered the hall and placed her arm around her waist, guiding her upstairs, to her bedroom. Her bedroom would be hers for one night and one night alone, for tomorrow she would have to share a bed with Arthur Pendragon, and perhaps do things she didn't want to think about- for the thought made her sick to her stomach.

"Morgana, if you aren't feeling well, I can excuse you from your feast tonight with the King." Guinevere told her Lady, as Morgana stood by the window, looking ghostly and pale, a shadow of her former self. "I can't be excused from marriage." Morgana spoke quietly, her voice shaky. "So, whats the point?" Morgana said, turning to face her maid, a worried expression painted on her face. Guinevere didn't like the way she was speaking, a hint of something in Morgana's voice scared her. "Morgana... You wouldn't do anything... foolish, now would you?" Guinevere asked her, wary of the answer. "And why shouldn't I?" Morgana said, the tone of her voice picking up as she walked towards her bed with anger. "Morgana..." Guinevere tired to usher. "No Gwen!" Morgana snapped. "You might envy me in some ways, of my dresses, my pretty things- but you can make your own choices in life and for that I envy you." Morgana spoke, walking towards her maid, her eyes flushed with fear. "You need to calm down." Guinevere told her, placing both her hands on her arms and pushing her to sit on the bed. "Do you want me to get the Court Physician to fix you a calming draught?" Guinevere said, ignoring Morgana's many words of worry. "No..." Morgana brushed off, looking away from her maid. "I'll be fine." She admitted, before she stood up and went to her wardrobe that was full of all her gowns, Uther had informed the servants to unpack all her things to this room, even for just one night- foolish really. "I'll need to get changed." Morgana swallowed, staring into her wardrobe, knowing that this was it, this was her fate there was no going back. "Yes!" Guinevere smiled, glad that Morgana seemed to be perky about the idea- she clearly didn't pick up the sadness in her voice. "What shall you wear?" Guinevere grinned, as she flicked through all her gowns. "i don't care." Morgana sighed as she went back to sitting on the bed. "Oh come on, you'll want something nice to please Arthur." Guinevere winked, all in bad taste. "I don't want to please Arthur!" Morgana spat at her maid in some form of disgust. "Do you think I care what _he_ thinks?" Morgana snarled, as she furrowed her brows at her maid. "You're right, you're right- I'm sorry." Guinevere ushered, she didn't want to argue with Morgana at such a delicate time, and she regretted making the dig about Arthur now. "Perhaps the wine coloured gown?" Guinevere asked, looking to Morgana to find she didn't reply. "Right then." Guinevere sighed to herself, as she lifted the dress out and batted the ends, before she went and laid it over the changing screen. "I'll leave you then?" Guinevere asked. "Theres some fresh water in the water basin behind the screen, if you want to freshen up." Guinevere informed her with a sweet smile. "Hmm." Morgana replied, not listening to Guinevere, whilst Guinevere sighed and left the room, leaving Morgana with her thoughts.

Morgana pulled herself off the bed, the overwhelming feeling of wanting to cry washed over her, but she bit back the tears and chose not to think of her terrible fate, at least in her opinion but it was awfully hard since it was the first thing on her mind. Before long she went to get dressed, she washed and pulled on the wine coloured dress Guinevere had picked out for her, dreading the thought of having to go share a dining table with her future husband, she felt terribly uncomfortable around him now, she couldn't meet his gaze or barely utter a word to him, how was she going to be his wife?

"Milady?" Came the delicate voice of Guinevere as she knocked the door and came in. "You look breath-taking." Guinevere sighed, dream-like as she gazed at Morgana in her Wine coloured gown. Morgana frowned, normally she would relish in such compliments, but not tonight. "Come..." Guinevere smiled sweetly, guiding Morgana to the stool in front of her vanity mirror so she could do her hair. "Everything will be fine, you'll see." Guinevere soothed as she brought the soft brush through Morgana's long ravenous hair. "Everyone keeps saying that but I just can't see it..." Morgana sighed, gazing down at her lap, instead of wanting to look at herself in the mirror. "It's not all bad- could be worse!" Guinevere smiled brightly, wanting to lighten the mood. "Well, I'd say marrying an arrogant Prince would be the worst it could get." Morgana scoffed. "Ahh, but Prince! You'll be more than happy living in the lap of luxury!" Guinevere grinned, as she began to clip Morgana's hair in a half-up, half-down style with glorious silver clips that had dazzling rubies encrusted in them. "Money can't buy happiness Gwen." Morgana admitted with a sigh of defeat. "You never know, you might learn to love Arthur- I'm sure you will." Guinevere smiled gently, gazing down at her hair as she tied the clips in. "I could never learn to love such a selfish pig." Morgana snapped, and Guinevere fell silent- nothing she said was right, she didn't know what she could say to please her, so she decided to say nothing at all.

"You're father is waiting for you." Guinevere told Morgana, as she stood up. "You best make your way, you wouldn't want to be late." She told her, throwing in a warm smile that was not returned. "Here..." She sighed sadly, curling Morgana's wrap around her, before Morgana left the room with her face painted with anything but happiness.

"Morgana." Gorlois said, his voice husky as she made her way to the dining table. Arthur's heart pounced in his chest as she took the seat opposite him, why did everything seem so awkward between the two now? Oh yes- that was because they were being forced to marry each other in the morning. The Prince couldn't deny that the Lady Morgana looked truly breath-taking in her wine coloured gown and long, dazzling dark locks that sailed down her back and swayed like the motions of a waterfall when she moved. "Sorry for arriving late..." Morgana muttered quietly, stealing a glance of Arthur before she looked away awkwardly. "No need to apologize!" Uther boomed, a wide smile on his face as he chewed his meat and laughed along with his old friend. Morgana stared down at her plate, a gracious amount of vegetables and a generous helping of beef was placed on the golden dish, decorated beautifully with sauces and herbs alike- but her appetite was not hungering her, in fact the thought of chewing on the meat or munching on the vegetables made her want to throw up. She lifted her golden goblet and took a small sip of the wine within it, the lingering taste too sweet and with her upset stoamch from worry, it didn't go down to well. The overwhelming feeling of wanting to vomit washed over her, she felt too warm, flushed with heat as though she might faint if she sat hear a miniute longer. "Excuse me." She whispered through a wavering tone as she stood up and practically dashed from the dining hall. Uther looked away from Gorlois, his wide grin wiped with that of worry and concern. "Morgana!" Gorlois began, as he went to get up after her, but Arthur stood up and beat him to it. "I'll go." The Prince explained with a quick pull of the lips into a smile, before he walked out of the dining hall after her, in a slow pace since he didn't want to seem too desperate as to why she suddenly left, but he was as worried as everyone else.

He found Morgana outside, leaning over the all- looking down the steps to Camelot. "You know, I'd hate to think that the thought of marrying me made you want to vomit." Arthur joked, slowing his pace as he reached the top of the steps. Morgana jumped, not realising Arthur had followed her out. "Arthur..." She commented, turning around to see him emerge from the doors. "No, no..." She tried to make amends for what he thought. "It wasn't that, I just didn't feel well..." She lied, the thought of marriage alone made her feel faint and dizzy- marrying Arthur had a lot to contribute but it was the fact that she didn't want to get married at all, no matter who it was to. "I'm nervous to you know." He admitted, seeing right through her lies, as he took a seat on the top step. Se looked away from him, sighing- how unfair it was that the two of them were being forced into making decisions. "I-I just can't see you as my husband." She explained, or more-so admitted as she gazed out at the dark, night sky. "Am I not good-looking enough for you?" He joked, as he looked at her, waiting for her reaction. She turned to him, with a smirk prying on her lips- and for a second her saw the old Morgana flash back, but when he blinked the strong Morgana vanished, and he now saw the ghostly, timid shell that remained. He could tell she didn't want to do this, that she was frightened more than anything and that she had probably gotten into many arguments over the matter with her father, as he had- but in the end they both knew that they had to do it, had they not marry each other they would be forced to marry strangers, and knowing each other was much better than that. "I'm not ready to be a wife." She said, the word wife emphasized with much disgust. "Do you think the moment you say 'I do' you turn old, ugly and lose all care for yourself?" Arthur joked again, but a hint of truth remained in his voice. "I look at wives to be mature women, I do not see myself as a mature woman." Morgana admitted, making her way up to sit beside Arthur, she felt much more comfortable with her know. "I don't see myself ready to be King, but when that day comes I won't have a choice- mature or not." Arthur explained to her, trying to calm her mind. "You might not see yourself as mature, or look at yourself as woman, instead still a girl- but other's see you as the leading Lady you are." Arthur explained, with a soft smile as she took a seat next to him on the cold step. "You just have to get into the right state of mind, you have to believe you are ready- and you will be." Arthur concluded finally, feeling very wise and serious, something he wasn't used to. "Its easier said than done." Morgana sighed, like an impatient child. "It'll take time, but theres nothing to be scared of." Arthur reassured her, she wondered why he wasn't as upset by the matter as she was, did he want to marry her? Did her see her in _that_ way? "You know we can no longer be like this anymore, after tomorrow." She admitted, somehow shuddering at the thought. "What do you mean?" He questioned, brows furrowed in confusion. "We'll be husband and wife, not old friends that reminisce over all times- we'll have to see each other in a loving way." She explained. "And I must admit, I have no desire to indulge in romantic gestures with you." She admitted, the thought she couldn't even process. "I know." He sighed in return. "But in time... hopefully." he commented, but she shook her head, somewhat violently. "No Arthur." She told him, seriously. "I can't, I can't even pretend to imagine it- the thought of sharing a bed with you makes me feel nausea." She admitted, her frightened tone returning. "Thanks..." He replied sarcastically, knowing it was not what she meant. "No, I'm sorry- I didn't mean it like that." She apologized, not getting panicked and worried. "Morgana, calm down, we'll take it one step at a time." He confessed, pulling both her arms to her side. "Come on, we best be getting inside." He explained, standing up and holding out a hand to help her up also. Morgana reluctantly accepted, before she followed him inside, but something told her that he had more feelings for her than he was letting on, feelings she didn't think she returned.


	2. Chapter 2 The Wedding of Grief & Despair

**[ Hello! So here's Chapter 2 and as I promised it is a **_**lot**_** better than the first chapter. A lot happens in this chapter, and it invokes the tragedy and grudge for the rest of story. I warn you, that the end of this chapter is **_**in my opinion**_** very sad and sorrowful, and there is also a sort of twist- if you could even call it that- at the end, which you probably weren't expecting. But, as I said before- the rest of the story gets juicy from here on in! I'm having a lot of fun with this story, so if you enjoy reading it please review- otherwise I don't see the point in continuing. Thank you and enjoy! :D ]**

**Chapter 2**

_"The Wedding of Grief and Despair."_

Morgana's eyes flashed open in a realm of uneasy nerves, she hadn't slept well the night before, normally she would be drowsy and turn to go back to sleep, but not today. The adrenaline raged through her body as worrying thoughts captivated her mind. She sat up in her bed, feeling her stomach churn and squirm in disapproval- she felt terribly sick, as though she might even cry, but the anxious, fearful thoughts were too strong- all she could do was panic.

Then it caught her eye, the beautiful white gown that was draped on a dining chair near the window, how beautiful it was and that was only at first glance, she didn't deserve to wear such a gown. It should have belonged to a beautiful, strong woman who was excited and delighted at the thought of being married. A woman whose thoughts were constantly about raising a family, being a good wife to her husband and to embrace the new life she was stepping into with open arms- a completely opposite woman to who Morgana was today, she would rather shy away from married life at present, the thought of having to raise a family and treat her husband well sickened her, she felt fearful and distraught at the new life ahead of her, she would prefer to push it away, to cower- than to embrace it happily.

"Milady!" Came the delicate voice of her handmaid Gwen, before she made her way into her room, a sweet smile on her face, the smile not too over-powering, which was good- because a large toothy grin would have caused Morgana to faint, and Guinevere sensed this. "Come along now, you'll need to be getting ready." Guinevere said in a voice as though she were talking to a small infant. Morgana reluctantly obeyed and rose from her bed with large, round eyes of sorrow and misfortune as she slipped behind her screen to take off her nightdress. Guinevere was shocked, she had expected Morgana to begin begging and pleading, for her to throw a tantrum and claim she wasn't going to marry Arthur Pendragon, and maybe even for Guinevere to even have to force her from her bed- but the fact that she had gotten up willingly on first command softened Guinevere a little, perhaps Morgana's thoughts on marriage had changed.

"Here you are." Guinevere said, lifting the soft, delicate gown with both hands and pulling it across to Morgana. "It's so beautiful." Guinevere beamed, feeling the soft silk glide through her fingers. "You must be so excited to be a bride!" Guinevere grinned, she couldn't help herself- she was very excited to see Morgana as a bride even if Morgana wasn't. Morgana ignored her all the same and Guinevere chose not to push her, she could sense the delicacy in the way Morgana was acting, that her emotions might go from a fiery rage to a blubbering mess of sobs in seconds; she didn't want her to go either way, so silence was best. "Here, let me help you." Guinevere offered, as she laced up the back of Morgana's dress. "This is really it, isn't it...?" Morgana spoke for the first time, Guinevere could sense the strong fear in her tone, her voice wavering on breakdown- the violent sighs of sorrow and sadness, all churned into her eyes which shone out brightly from her face, bright with despair and fear. "I don't want to do this Gwen." Morgana begged, turning to her maid, not caring that her dress was half fastened. "Come now." Guinevere prompted; bring a warm smile to her lips, trying to raise Morgana's spirits. "No, please." Morgana pleaded, she wasn't herself, as though she was in one of her nightmares, looking but not seeing. "Morgana..." Guinevere sighed, pushing her down on the bed. "I know you don't want to hear this, but you have to marry Arthur, and I know you're scared now- but I promise, I promise you in time you'll realise that there was nothing to be frightened about." Guinevere explained, putting so much emphasis on the word 'promise', a pleading in her voice so that Morgana knew she was safe. "It's not like Uther is throwing you down into the dragon- we'll all still be here, everything will be the same, all except your second name." Guinevere continued with a lighter tone, added humour. The corners of Morgana's lips pulled up slightly, making Guinevere know she had done a good job reassuring. With that Morgana got up and let Guinevere fasten her dress, before she allowed her to comb her hair and decorate it with diamonds and jewels alike.

At last Morgana was ready, her long flowing white gown trailed out on the floor behind her. The dress sparkled and shone, as it stopped and pulled in her delicate waist before it flowed out gracefully. The shoulders of the dress wavered as she walked, whilst her hair was pulled beautifully in a typical half-up, half-down fashion, tied neatly with a silver opal, as her hair was tussled and hung over her left shoulder, she looked a tremendous sight, a treasure on her wedding day- but as Guinevere held up the mirror for her to see, she couldn't bring herself to pull a smile, to raise her eyes, she looked to the floor, feeling tears warm her eyes- this was it, there was definitely no going back now. "Come now!" Guinevere sighed, pulling Morgana into an embrace. "I told you, there's nothing to worry about." Guinevere explained. "I don't care, I don't care if I've nothing to be scared of, and if I'm promised the best life in the world- I don't want it." Morgana sobbed, before Guinevere pulled her from the embrace and stared into her eyes. "If you don't marry Arthur today, you'll have to marry a stranger at some point, you cannot stay a single woman forever, it is expected of a woman to find herself a husband- your job is already half-done. You may not have the choice, but in the long run you have the better choice than any of us- you will become Queen, whereas I will marry someone like me, a servant- I am not promised luxury or a happy life, you are and if I can give you any advice Morgana I'd tell you to take your chance while you have it." Guinevere explained, extremely serious and tedious as she spoke. "Arthur will treat you well, I know it. He may not be the nicest of people, but you can help change that- I know he would not put you in harm's way." Guinevere stopped her rant, to allow Morgana to take in her words, she had noticed that Morgana had stopped crying, instead her face was just streaked with tears, she somewhat wore a sort of smile as her mouth hung ajar. "Goodness Gwen." Morgana half-laughed in astonishment. "I didn't know you had so many opinions, and so much authority." Morgana let another chuckle escape her lips, making Guinevere smile. "I apologise for speaking to you like that, Milady." Guinevere commented, realising she was slightly rude to be so outspoken. "Don't give me that entire 'Milady' larky; I know what you really think." Morgana winked, before letting out another laugh again, Guinevere was thrilled to see her mood had changed, and that she was the key to it all. "Come now." Guinevere brushed off, quite embarrassed, as she grabbed a handkerchief and wiped Morgana's tear stained cheeks. "You don't want to be late for your own wedding." Guinevere laughed again, making Morgana smile slightly, her handmaid had raised her spirits, and she wouldn't forget how powerful and true her words probably were, she would marry Arthur Pendragon- not willingly, but she would do it- because she had to, and in the long run, yes- perhaps she would look back and agree she made a good decision, but that didn't stop her fear or sadness, it just buried it a little deeper within. And with those wise thoughts of joyous things, instead of thinking of the down-side, she left her bedchambers to greet her husband-to-be in the throne room, where Camelot was waiting.

Arthur turned when he heard some enter the hall that was packed out full of people- many people who were chatting settled down, many people shushing others, before the bickering chaos of words drew out to a slow and delicate silence that was almost tangible. Arthur stood at the top of the hall, beside Geoffrey of Monmouth. The sweet, soft sound of a harp being played filled the hall, deafening the silence as the delicate chimes radiated through the ears of the people, it had a calming edge, which was something he certainly needed right now. Slowly he saw the doors open at the end of the hall, before he set his eyes on Morgana for the first time that day- she looked bashful as she tried her best not to blush from the many people now looking at her, she would look to the floor but she was the bride, she had to walk proudly alongside her father. Arthur's lips somehow pulled into a smile absent-mindedly as Morgana walked slowly and softly up the hall, her arm entwined with her father's, Gorlois was smiling like a Cheshire cat, nodding approval to the people he passed, whilst Morgana couldn't wait to get to the top of the hall and for this awkward moment to be over with. Finally, she ushered her way near him, she let slip a small sigh of relief as her father bowed himself away to the left side, along with Uther- readying himself to watch the ceremony that Morgana was sure would drag. The hall stood in waiting, for Geoffrey to speak, to watch Prince Arthur wed the Lady Morgana- an exciting event for the many peasants in Camelot.

Morgana walked and stood in front of Arthur, she had no choice now but to meet his gaze, she let a small smile pull of her lips; he smiled back willingly before he took both her hands in her own and somehow this made her feel the smallest bit uncomfortable, but she bit her tongue nevertheless, before Geoffrey finally spoke.

"My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen of Camelot; we are gather here today to celebrate the ancient right and union of Arthur Pendragon and Morgana Le Fay." He gave a small nod to the two of them before he brought his attention to Arthur, rather than to the people. "Is it your wish, Arthur- to become one with this woman?" Geoffrey asked, and Morgana swallowed, feeling her stomach churn, begging him to say no, but she knew that he could not, and that as much as she hoped, this was it.

Morgana couldn't make her feelings apparent on her face, she had to put on a grand smile, to show the people of Camelot that she was happy and excited on her Wedding day- not miserable and cold. Arthur looked longingly into her eyes, before he spoke slowly and steadily, his smile never faltering. "It is." He said, with a hint of pride. "Is it your wish Morgana, to become one with this man?" Geoffrey asked, as soon as Arthur gave his answer. She wavered for a moment, although a smile was painted on her lips it was clear it was a nervous one, forced there, her eyes large with fear and maybe even some grief. She turned to steal a glance at her father, who was wearing a tremendous smile, he nodded to her- this was her last chance, that he might sense her fear and pull her away from it all and tell her that she didn't have to marry him if she did not want to, but he didn't- and the panicking feeling to cry out was suddenly becoming overwhelming, but she couldn't. Her body suddenly rushed with fear, her legs feeling wobbly- but she had to hold it together. "It is…" She muttered panic and fear alight in her eyes, when she noticed that she had been gripping Arthur's hands extremely tightly, but he said nothing- aware of her sudden change of mood. She lightened her grip, giving the smallest of laughs to indicate her dearest apologies for doing so, but he smiled back, a reassuring smile, before he gave the smallest of nods in return. "Any say nay?" Geoffrey spoke to the people, head held up high, after the long delay in Morgana's answer.

Her heart was thumping against her ribcage, so much that she could hear the heartbeat in her eyes, it buzzed and rang, as though she had fainted, but she had not- close to it, but she was still here and standing. She begged for someone to disrupt her wedding, for someone to disagree with her marriage, that Arthur might be having a fling with one of the handmaids, and that she might cry out in jealousy and confess her love. But the hall remained silent, nothing happened for those few short seconds which felt like years, before the sound of Geoffrey's voice rang in her ears again, her chance was over. "Then, I now pronounce you- husband and wife!" Geoffrey boomed out in glee, as the sound of the trumpets filled the hall harmonically, as the people cheered at the new couple.

But Arthur now had to do what was expected at every wedding- kiss the bride. He could not deny that a sudden rush of awkwardness washed over him, and that he might be lingering to long- he wanted to get it over with, but kissing her- it didn't feel right, he knew it time it most likely would, but today- he felt as though he were kissing a stranger, a friend- not his love, not his wife. But as the cheers died down, he decided to bite the bullet and just do it. Quickly but delicately he brought his lips to Morgana's, held them there a moment before leaning back.

Morgana closed her eyes, waiting for it to be over, wanting to wipe her lips with her sleeve like that of a small child- but she couldn't, instead she smiled widely, as though she were infatuated with him- to prove to the people that she were _in love_. Love- what was love anyway? She used to believe in love, that one day she might stumble upon the rare emotion, and that it might captivate her mind as both her and her sweetheart might share gracious memories and were promised a long and happy life with each other, and that her significant other would feel exactly the same, never wanting to be apart but to always be completely engrossed by one another, she had read of such things in stories- but how could she fully believe in love now? Because she could never have that rare feeling of being completely infatuated with another, of feeling excitable and faint at the thought of another person, she could not have that now- because she was now married to Arthur, and she could never share those sorts of feelings with Arthur. One thing that she always wanted to experience was that of falling in love, that someone might fall for her so willingly- but now, that experience would be stolen from her and the thought alone made her want to cry, she felt as though she were missing out on something. Of course, she could always commit adultery, a vicious and cruel crime- but as soon as the thought crossed her mind it was wiped free- she may not love Arthur, but she would never want to hurt him willingly.

The day was filled with glorious festivities, as the people glided around merrily, some up dancing to the Bard that played beautifully, whilst drunken cheers of men echoed through the hall, replied with the high screeches and cackles of women. Morgana sat there, beside Arthur, or where Arthur should be- but h was skipping around everyone, all his friends- Gwaine, Percival, Merlin; whereas Morgana barely knew a single soul- she would have talked to Guinevere but she was bustling around refilling tankards of wine. "Congratulations, Milady." came the strong voice of Lancelot as he bowed in front of her and took her hand, planting a kiss. "Thank you Lancelot." She brushed off shyly, realising that she probably looked like a right loner all night and a downside miserable all night. "I must admit you make a beautiful bride." Lancelot commented, as she blushed and brushed him off for a second time. "Please. You are too kind." She muttered out, as Lancelot let out a small laugh. "Is there something troubling you Milady?" Lancelot asked, in his usual formal tone. "No…" Morgana told him, somehow feeling that she wasn't doing herself any favours. "Why do you ask?" Morgana asked him, lying very obviously. "Well- pardon my saying so, but you looked saddened by something, you are not the same Morgana I remembered, the one who visited a few months back." Lancelot explained, he always knew Morgana as strong, feisty- talkative and with an excellent sense of humour, but today she was shy, quiet and her face was painted with misery, even a touch of fear. "Forgive me." Morgana said with an apologetic smile. "But it seems todays festivities have worn me thin, I'm so sorry if I seem not to appreciate the goodness of today." She explained trying to keep her smile pinned. "Apologies are all mine." Lancelot informed her, but something told her he did not buy what she had just said. "I best be getting up to my bedchambers, it was nice talking to you again Lancelot." Morgana ushered, before standing up. "And a pleasure it was sharing company with you- but we will be seeing a lot more of each other now." Lancelot said, with a strong, glad smile before he bowed and wandered away.

But as Morgana made her way from the hall, she heard the vicious growl of a man, the growl silenced everyone, and she froze, her stomach churning when she heard the clash of a blade against another. "I will _not_ have you refer to me as a tired old Tyrant!" yelled the aggressive tone of Uther, as Morgana spun on her heels to see Uther clang swords with a tall, dark haired man with a scar down his left eye, tracing from his eyebrow right down his cheek. "Uther!" Gorlois snapped in anger, annoyed that his old friend had risen to challenge a stranger for calling him a tyrant. "Stand down!" Gorlois slurred drunkenly. "NO!" Uther cried out in anger, continuing to slash swords with this this man, as the standing people backed away, careful not to get hit. "He's a vicious King, the whole of Camelot knows it- you disgrace the day you sat on that throne, Uther Pendragon!" The raging stranger snarled, he was drunk too- everyone was drunk, this was how this entire fight started. "ENOUGH!" Uther yelled as he moved his blade more violently now. "Move!" Gorlois snapped, as the man almost took Uther's head off with his blade. "Arthur!" Morgana cried, rushing over, panicked- eyes flashed with fear, but for different reasons now. "Arthur!" Morgana called a second time, scuttling over to him across the table. "Arthur, you must stop this- someone will get hurt!" Morgana begged, as Arthur nodded, seeing her fear, he grabbed his sword and pushed through the people. Before a deafening shriek could be heard echoing through the hall.

Morgana's stomach churned, before she saw a tremendous amount of blood pooling at her feet. "Morgana…" Arthur whispered his eyes now full with fear and panic, as he brought himself around to her, and tried to direct her out of the hall. "Gwaine…" he called, passing Morgana to him, something in Arthur's eyes indicated something to Gwaine, as Gwaine read the sign and jumped up to take Morgana from the hall. Morgana's eyes were full with worry, as the people began crying out in sadness and fear, she looked to Arthur, but he was lost in the crowd again- whilst Gwaine wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "No…" She informed him in a daze. "No, come with me Morgana- we both need to get some air… none of us want to be here right now." Gwaine slipped out, making Morgana pull violently away from Gwaine's grasp, he clawed in the air after her, but she was already pushing up through the crowd, through the blood- before she suddenly felt the aggressive punch of grief, she felt sick as though she would surely vomit- as her legs wobbled upon collapse and before long she fell to her knees in the blood. Her eyes full to the brim with sorrow, as tears pooled out and streamed rapidly down her cheeks. Her mouth was ajar, verging on screaming but nothing would come out- she couldn't avert her eyes, from the sight before her.

Gorlois lay with a sword pierced through his chest as the blood pooled wider and wider around the people- the crimson liquid absorbing Morgana's once pristine white gown. "No!" She cried out finally, in a whisper, before the whispers turned to full conventional screams, as she saw her father's lifeless gaze stare back at her. She took violent breaths in and out before she began screaming, and to those around the scream would not be forgotten, it was a scream of misery, of loss, of irreversible pain. She began sobbing uncontrollably as she brought her face to her father's chest and hugged it. "Please father…" She begged, as though he might still have a breath left. "Please, don't die- don't leave me!" She pleaded, hoping and wishing with all her might that he might miraculously recover, but he didn't, he wouldn't. "Come on father!" She begged, in denial that he was dead, as she looked at him longingly. "Get up…" She begged. "Get up!" She crumbled on the last word, breaking down into tears again, knowing that nothing would bring him back. She was now covered in his blood, the skirt of her dress now heavy with his crimson blood, as the bodice of her dress had smears, as well as her cheek, and her hands with drenched in it- it was a somewhat morbid sight to see her lying there, with her father, engrossed with his constant pool of blood. "Arthur…" Uther gestured to his son; he was now sober, as he indicated for Arthur to take her away.

Soon Morgana felt the warm hands of Arthur bend down and embrace her from behind, as he whispered in her ear. "Come on…" He soothed, as she sobbed, cradling her father and rocking slightly, on the brink of madness. "No!" She cried out in a muffle of sobs. Everyone around was silent, looking down on the sad sight of a daughter with her father, her screams and begs pierced their hearts, some even on the brink of tears themselves whilst others left the hall. "No, he's not dead… Just give him another minute, he'll come around, you'll see." She told Arthur, as though it was truth- fact, but the tears continued to flow from her eyes, if it were true why did she continue to sob? Arthur wanted more than anything to tell her that it was true, but he couldn't- and it broke his heart. "No Morgana…" He whispered, as he rubbed her shoulder. "Come on, we need to get you out of here." Arthur explained in a whisper, that no one else could hear, only her. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Morgana suddenly cried out in rage as she stared up at Uther, still sobbing as she held the aggression in her tone. "You may as well of murdered him!" She yelled out, as she stared at Uther, whilst still cradling her father in her arms. "Enough!" Uther said, frowning down upon her, sorrow apparent in his eyes at losing his friend. "I am graciously sorry for your father's death, but I will not be held responsible!" Uther snapped, as Arthur stood up and stared at his father. "Father, please." Arthur told him, shooting him a frown. "Of course you won't! It's just another dead man, out of the hundreds you've killed!" Morgana cried out in retaliation. Uther made a move for her, as though he might slap her, but Arthur held him back. "She has just lost her father; she doesn't know what she's saying!" Arthur whispered aggressively in his ear, although trying to soothe him. "I will not have her speak to me like that!" Uther whispered back, his voice breaking, crumbling, the sudden rush of grief took over as Arthur gestured towards Gaius to come and take his father away, and he did. "Come now…" Arthur whispered to Morgana, as he bent down and knelt in the pool of blood, not caring that it was soaking through his trousers. He curled Morgana's fingers back before she finally let go of the tight grip she had on her father, as she sobbed and gasped, begging him to stop, but not truly stopping him. Soon she fell into his arms and crumbled there, in the safety of his embrace, she sobbed long and hard, her tears soaking Arthur's shirt, each sob a beg and a plead that this disastrous accident were not true. He brushed her hair with his hands softly, resting his chin on her forehead, he too biting back the tears that soon streamed lightly down his cheeks- he could not bear to see her like this, vulnerable and full to the brim with sorrow, if he could take it all away, he would.

Merlin helped Guinevere clear the hall of people, before she had to go outside and get some air, since the grief was becoming too much for her- and Merlin didn't exactly feel comfortable with her walking around in the pools of blood. Soon Arthur and Morgana got up from the floor, her head still buried in his chest, she didn't want to lift it, to see her father there- dead, or to let anyone see how hurt she was, however foolish that sounded- and with that Arthur took her to his bedchambers, to get her out of her blood-stained clothes and lay her to rest in his bed, allowing her to get the remainder of her sobs out, before he calmed her- otherwise the great feeling of loss and panic would overwhelm her entirely. Arthur returned to help his Knights and servants clear up the blood and to remove Gorlois's body from the castle, ready for burial in the morning.

"What exactly happened?" Merlin asked foolishly as he mopped away the blood with Gwaine. "I was in the kitchens at the time." Merlin admitted in reply to Gwaine's confused stare. "A man provoked Uther." Gwaine began, through a sigh of grief and loss. "And Gorlois saved Uther's life by taking the blow aimed at him." Gwaine said, whilst tugging the mop back and forth. "And the stranger- what of him?" Merlin asked, as the mop slopped against the floor. "He managed to flee from the castle, but one of the Guards killed him upon sight as he tried to run across the drawbridge." Gwaine informed him. "Oh… All for the better then." Merlin said, not exactly knowing what to say, but all conversation drew to a close when Arthur returned.

They remained in the hall all night, but instead of drinking and laughing graciously- it was filled with cries of grief, a wedding that wasn't to be remembered kindly, but instead bitterly.

**PLEASE REVIEW FOR MORE! :)**


	3. Chapter 3 Then let us try again

**[ Hey there! Sorry for taking so long to update! :D This chapter is set a while after the wedding and it is about Arthur and Morgana's strained marriage. You might enjoy some twists and such; I had fun writing this one! I'm so happy that you guys have reviewed, added this story to your alerts and even added it to your favourites, I couldn't ask for more! I'm also sorry about the formatting of the previous chapters and how long the paragraphs were, I was always horrible at paragraphing. D: But I have formatted the paragraphs a LOT in this chapter, my greatest apologies again! :) Chapter 4 will be about the plotting of Uther and how he resorts to Nimueh! So, please R&R if you wanna see that! :D Thanks again and enjoy! :D]**

**Chapter 3**

_"Then let us try again…"_

The next few weeks were cold, silent and hard- if Morgana were truly honest with herself, she knew she'd never fully get over the death of her father, but she could not bear it. To awake every morning, and for those few short seconds to be oblivious to everything, until she was hit with the realisation that her father was dead and she was imprisoned to a marriage she did not want. Guinevere had tried to understand, to be there- but she would never truly know how it felt, to be forced into marriage and on the same day to have your father taken from you- to lose your father and freedom all in one day, she was becoming numb- a shadow to her former self, and the whole of Camelot noticed, but they dare not bring it up- ask her why she constantly wandered around alone and somewhat dazed, in fact no one had neared her at all, with the fear of upsetting her and having to face Arthur with fumbled apologies.

Arthur sat at the breakfast table, with his brows furrowed and an anxious expression on his face as he stared at the empty space across from him, where his wife would be sat- but that space lay empty for weeks now, with her constant refusal to eat at the same table as Uther, or to even be near Uther if she could avoid it. "What is it Arthur?" Uther complained as he looked up from reading his documents, taking a sip of water as he glanced back to the parchment.

"Nothing." Arthur shook off as once, throwing a fake smile and began shovelling the porridge into his mouth. "If you're still fretting over Morgana…" Uther moaned, the name which left his lips sickened him as he pursed his lips. "Oh come on father, this can't continue forever." Arthur said, glad that his father brought her up- the constant play on his mind. "It'll continue until she apologizes." Uther spat, trying not to look up to his son. "For what?" Arthur growled angrily, somewhat in disbelief. "She accuses me of her father's death; I will not take that blame." Uther growled back, not fully aware of where the conversation was headed. "Please, the girl just lost her father- she wants someone to blame; it helps her deal with it better." Arthur explained, trying to calm his father. "Has she said this to you?" Uther asked, his eyes growing wide. "No, but I expect that's her reasons." Arthur explained, looking back down into his bowl as he grumbled to himself. "I have tried reasoning with her Arthur." Uther explained, pretending he was too enthralled with his royal documents. "But she continues to speak to me as though I am a murderer, she isn't Queen yet- she does not have the right." Uther batted his son off, wanting free of his annoyance on the subject.

"Father… Please, she is my wife." The words felt strange leaving his lips, referring to Morgana as his wife, you'd have never have known it to look at the two, since Morgana was so cold towards him. "This isn't the relationship I want the both of you to have." Arthur pleaded, begging his father to try apologising to Morgana for a last time. "She will apologize to me, not the other way around." Uther commanded him. "How can I make her relationship work with me if it won't work with you? I'm tired of being torn between you both!" Arthur snapped, but Uther raised a finger to him, still glancing at his papers. "Silence Arthur! You will leave me in peace; I have important matters to address." Uther scolded, Arthur shot a glance at him, and his eyes like slits, before he hit his bowl full of porridge and it leaked out over the table, as shot up from his seat and kicked his chair away angrily, before storming from the throne room, his father gritting his teeth at him, before he disappeared.

Morgana stood at her window, glancing out at the Courtyard as Guinevere bustled behind her, before a knock was heard at the door. "My Lord." Morgana heard Guinevere chime, as Arthur walked into the room. Morgana turned to look at him, her face full of guilt- she hadn't expected his breakfast to be over as early, otherwise she would have made herself scarce. "I was wondering if I might have a moment alone with you." Arthur asked, feeling strange that he was _asking_ for a moment alone with his wife- this wasn't how he anticipated married life to be. "Leave us Gwen." Morgana told her maid as she managed to pull her lips into a smile, indicated at Arthur, as Guinevere lifted Morgana's breakfast tray and bowed herself out. Morgana's stomach churned, she knew exactly why he was here- he came and asked of the same thing at least twice a week. "I'm just back from breakfast…" Arthur told her, as soon as Guinevere left, as he turned his attention from Morgana to the window, anything. "Oh…" Morgana nodded, waiting for more. "How long are you going to keep this up?" Arthur said finally, turning to look at Morgana, his face turning to begging, his tone changing into pleading. "I'm not doing this Arthur." Morgana told him, as she looked to the floor and went to make her way past him, to the door. These conversations always ended in arguments, she wasn't in the mood for one again today.

"Please…" Arthur whispered as he gripped Morgana's upper arm as she went to pass him. "I'm tired as tired of this as you are." Arthur explained, his voice vulnerable, as he pleaded with Morgana. "Well, it isn't me you need to corner." Morgana said to him, through gritted teeth as she met his eye. "It's your arrogant pig of a father!" Morgana snarled as she shrugged away from Arthur's grip. Arthur sighed and brought his hands to his face as he combed his hair back, not knowing what to do. For once he was tired of Morgana referring to his father with cruel words, and secondly he was sick of her taking her father's death out on everyone else.

"My father is not to blame for Gorlois's death." Arthur said finally, cringing as he spoke her father's name. Morgana reached for the door, but froze when he said this, feeling her body bubble with rage. "_Your father isn't to blame for Gorlois's death?_" Morgana repeated in some form of disbelief. "Morgana…" Arthur made his way over to her, to try and calm her, to explain what he meant, regretting that he had said what he did, but glad in the same sense.

"No!" Morgana snapped, making him freeze halfway through the room. "Your father started that fight- my father warned him to back down, and he was too _proud_ to think of anyone else!" Morgana began in an aggressive tone with a hint of despair. "My father stepped in to stop him getting killed- he took Uther's place, it is Uther who should be dead- not my father!" Morgana squealed half in pain and anguish, whilst still keeping her anger intact.

"That's my father you're talking about!" Arthur snapped, his brows furrowed in angry, all sympathy lost as he raised his index finger towards her. "But whose father is it dead? Mine!" Morgana snapped, horrified at the truth of the topic. "Just because your father died doesn't mean you have the right to take it out on everyone else!" Arthur snarled back, feeling his voice grow louder, into a shout. "You came up here- you asked to speak with _me_!" Morgana retaliated in anger; she was not to blame for this. "Because if I don't come near you- no one will- can't you see you're pushing everyone away?" Arthur told her, trying to explain how cold she was being. "Good!" Morgana snapped. "You don't mean that…" Arthur told her, truth in his tone. "Who are you to tell me what I do and do not mean?" Morgana growled at him, angered by his response, he was now making decisions for her too- she was suffocating in this cruel life, no one would let her be, let her make her own choices. "Your husband!" Arthur shouted in a full wrath of rage back at her. "Although you've probably forgotten, because you're too selfishly wrapped up in your own grief to recognise anyone else's!" He shouted at her, or more-so spat at her, each word tangled in a realm of disgust.

"Behead me then, go find yourself another wife!" Morgana said, in a form of wit, of amusement, as she walked close to Arthur and closed the distance between them, her teeth gritted as she spoke up into his face. "Or why don't you get your murderer of a father to behead me, he seems to gain a thrill from killing innocent people." Morgana spat at him, in a smirk, testing him.

But soon she felt her cheek burn a crimson red, it shivered before it stung. Arthur had just slapped her, and she was taken off-guard, she backed down and brought her own hand up to soothe the aching sting.

Arthur regretted slapping her the moment he had done it, but he had acted upon absent thoughts- his immediate retaliation. Her face suddenly became vulnerable again, as though the slap had awoken her from the rage she was captivated in, she looked close to tears, as her eyes slowly wandered to meet his- wide with guilt and disbelief of what he had just done.

"Morgana…" Arthur began, raising his hand to pull her close again, to apologise. "I hadn't expected less." She spat at him, her anger returning. "You are your father's son after all." She growled aggressively, through gritted teeth before she vastly beckoned from the room. Arthur's heart hung heavy in his chest as he went to stop her, muttering her name- but it was too late, she was already gone, and he felt like slapping himself for being a complete idiot- he shouldn't have let his anger got the better of him, with her being in such a delicate state.

Arthur couldn't find Morgana for the remainder of the day, he had searched high and low- to try and find her, to apologise- but it was no use. He had given up searching around noon when Sir Leon said that he seen her ride off on her horse earlier, so Arthur retreated to doing one of his normal day-to-day activities; by helping his Knights train.

All of his Knights could sense the annoyance and despair in the young Prince, but not just today for the past number of weeks all of them were aware that his marriage to Morgana just wan not working, and that her father's death had put an awful strain upon it. But not one of them dared speak a word of their thoughts to Arthur, they wanted to act oblivious, leave him to his problems instead of getting involved, even Merlin- because all of them were aware of how serious it was, especially when Morgana never ate any meals with the King. They all spoke about it when together, wondering how long it would last, when Uther would crack- but none of them doing anything about it, in case they paid with their lives.

Arthur ate his dinner that evening in silence beside his father; they were still holding a grudge against this morning- they were always holding a grudge. Arthur felt like screaming out in anger, in despair- how had his life fallen to pieces in a number of weeks? When would this hell end? Why couldn't everyone get along? All these unanswered questions played on his mind, before he retreated to his bedroom, the one he shared with Morgana. He was surprised she had not protested and slept in her old room, but no- she was content in the room with him, although content was rather the wrong word to use. She slept in the same bed as him yes, but she curled herself up on the right side, making sure she was as far away from making skin contact with the Prince in the night, as though she were sleeping with a stranger. Arthur often wondered how she didn't have muscle strains from sleeping this way, all hunched up- but she said nothing and neither did he.

Arthur entered his bedroom, not knocking this time- because he had every right to be there, thankfully Guinevere wasn't there but Morgana was. Now was his chance to apologise, but not just yet- he's leave it a while, let her get used to his presence.

Morgana heard the door opening as she stood behind her changing screen, she peeked behind the grooves in the wood as she pulled her emerald gown off awkwardly, to catch a glimpse of Arthur's golden hair, her stomach churned, as it often did when she seen him nowadays, but she continued to get dressed into her night clothes, pretending he wasn't there. She pulled the cream gown over her head, before pulling her luscious dark locks out from underneath, now afraid to move out from behind the screen. She lifted her gown up and threw it over the screen, leaving it for Guinevere to collect in the morning, before she carefully slid out from behind the screen, careful not to meet Arthur's gaze. "Morgana." He nodded, with a soft smile- barely a smile if that, but a hint of relief was there in his voice. She nodded to him as she leant her hands on the window pane, looking out at Camelot, as the sky was heavy with rain, it was still light out- but it was growing dark at a rapid pace.

Suddenly she felt delicate hands grasp her upper arm, and she turned her head to look up at a saddened Arthur. "I'm sorry." He spoke softly. "I shouldn't have done that earlier." He told her, she knew he was talking about the slap he had given her when she so boldly spoke out of term about his father. "It's fine." Morgana brushed off, looking back to the window, she felt Arthur was growing uncomfortably close. Arthur gave a small sigh, but a small appeared on his lips, glad that she wasn't holding a grudge with him, but he could sense she was unnerved. He brought a hand up to stroke her delicate dark locks, she said nothing- just fearing where this was going. She absently moved away the smallest bit when he touched her hair, wanting to just go to bed and go to sleep- to be free of his presence, she could no longer enjoy his company when he made these gestures that made her anxious. "Why do you continue to push me away?" Arthur asked suddenly, hurt by her sudden movement. Morgana met his gaze, worried that he would start off on another rage again; she wasn't in the mood for an argument again. "I'm sorry." She concluded finally, surprised that she wasn't as argumentative. "You have to stop all of this you know." Arthur explained. "I cannot help it." She told him, both of them knowing exactly what the other was talking about. "I cannot see you as my husband." Morgana confessed the sadness clear in her voice. "That's because you don't try." Arthur told her, knowing he was right. "I can't- it just feels wrong." She admitted the apparent vision of disgust clear in her eyes. "Well we can't keep this up forever." Arthur sighed, admitting defeat.

"And I don't want to." Morgana confessed; her voice picking up from the small mumble it was before. "Then let us try." Arthur suggested, glad to see that she was trying to make an effort. Morgana was unnerved by his suggestion, a sudden rush of panic washing over her, afraid of what the night entailed. "Don't be frightened." He explained, as his hand cupped her cheek, his eyes suddenly going all gooey with infatuation as he edged closer, and closer. Morgana's brows were furrowed in worry, growing uncomfortable with how fast he was closing the space between him. Soon his lips crushed against hers, they motioned and lingered, whilst she couldn't even attempt to move hers along with his, they just stayed lifeless, unmoving- before it all came to much, too uncomfortable and she clawed away from him, as he edged away, looking distraught at her last motions. "If that is your idea of trying." Arthur began, but Morgana brushed him off- she didn't want to do this anymore, she didn't like it- kissing him, let alone anything else. "I'm sorry." She confessed, she wanted this to work, in all honesty she did- she couldn't bear trailing around the castle, lonesome and full of hate and sorrow- she needed this to work, because there was no getting out of it.

But soon Arthur was moving closer again, their faces were inches apart when he whispered. "Then let us try again…" And as his hand cupped her chin he pulled her lips to his.

Morgana's lips lay lifeless for a moment, but soon she realised that Arthur was right- she had to try, even if she disliked It greatly, she had to at least attempt to have a go with Arthur, to make their marriage work. Her lips slowly moved in motion with his, each longing kiss grasping and pulling until they both found the bed. Morgana was growing terribly uncomfortable, but when she didn't think about it- it wasn't so bad. She wondered if she could ever grow to love Arthur, if she the two would ever live long and happy like a beautiful married couple- but she doubted it, she doubted it very much- and her heart hung heavy in her chest every time she did. She wanted to love Arthur, she begged it to be so, but she could not muster the feelings and it saddened her so. How had he grown to love her so quickly?

She lay on the bed sheets, feeling Arthur's hand graciously getting lost in her hair, his lips not parting with hers for even a second. His hands soon wrapped around her waist, his fingers lingered for a second on the white buttons of her gown, and she froze- knowing where this was going, so much for taking it one step at a time. Arthur's fingers were now fumbling down her nightdress; this was it- she couldn't back out now. Panic set in, and in another absent mind thought she pushed him away forcefully, before she jumped off the bed and dashed to the window, stopping when she realised she had nowhere to go.

Arthur lay on the bed, frozen- wondering where it had all gone wrong, _wasn't she enjoying herself_? He regretted moving so fast, she was still in a delicate state and the fact that they had even made the bed was an improvement, that he was even kissing her- but his desires and urges had got the better of them, he would be wiser not to assume her feelings, even if she was going along with them.

Morgana's eyes welled with tears, but not tears of sadness, tears of annoyance. How had she become this? This miserable mess that constantly wanted to cry, she was suffocating, drowning in this new life, she hated every second of it- how alone she had suddenly become, so isolated. Her father was gone and she didn't want to believe it, but with him gone she felt even more imprisoned here than she should, she didn't love Arthur and it sickened her, He was her husband, and she felt horrible that she could not return his feelings towards her. She wanted to love him, to even have a flicker of a thudded heartbeat when she saw him, but there was nothing but awkwardness, how he was so very nice to her and she continued to push him away, when really she wanted to embrace him, to love him- like a wife should, but she could not. And Uther, she loathed him, he was the reason for her father's death and every time she looked at him the sudden rush of rage and sorrow overwhelmed her, she couldn't take any of it much longer.

Soon Arthur heard the quick intake of breaths coming from Morgana, as he stared at her, though she had her back to him gazing out the window. Where they… sobs? He suddenly felt the vast punch of guilt, he didn't mean to make her cry, how could he have been so foolish- to go too fast when he knew how fragile she was. "Morgana…" Arthur began, not exactly knowing what to say, but he held so much concern in his tone.

Morgana stood at the window, unable to answer him; she feared that if she attempted to reply that her voice might be engulfed by sobs. She tried her hardest to swallow the lumps in her throat, to suck in the tears and to just return to him, there on the bed- but she knew that that wasn't going to happen. "I'm sorry." She muttered out, her voice breaking and wavering as she pushed the tears away violently, before she headed for the door. Arthur quickly hopped up from the bed, rushing towards her, to stop her- but the door was already open when he grasped her arm. He was stricken to see Lancelot down the corridor, he was making his way back to his chambers, surely- the Prince made eye contact with him, not realising that Morgana was very greatly distraught.

A sob escaped her lips which brought him to reality, but she managed to break free of his grip before she ran down the corridor, and past Lancelot- not exactly knowing where she was going. "Morgana!" Arthur shouted after her, Lancelot frozen in the corridor rather awkwardly as he had walked upon this unfortunate event. "I'll get her Sire." Lancelot said at last to Arthur, "Wait… No!" Arthur tried shouting after him, but he was already gone, intent on catching her. But Arthur was glad it was Lancelot who stumbled upon them, he was a good friend that was understand the circumstance, and Arthur thought it was best he didn't go- since she would be unlikely to speak to him, since he upset her.

Lancelot strode down the corridor, in a slow but strong pace- it seemed as though Arthur and Morgana had been caught in an argument and Morgana had been reduced to tears, of course he didn't know the true story.

"Morgana." He spoke softly, when he found the Lady sitting on the cold steps outside, he wondered whether he should take her back to Arthur, but he found it might be best if he calm her first. "Now, now." He prompted as he took a seat beside her, she was sobbing now. "What's all this?" He questioned, a hint of reassurance in his tone.

Morgana felt very awkward now, that Lancelot had caught her crying, vulnerable. "I'm sorry…" She told him, as she swallowed back her tears, and wiped her eyes unable to meet his gaze. "Why are you sad, Milady?" Lancelot asked, as he stared intently into her face. "It was nothing…" She brushed off. "I was just being foolish." She told him, pushing out a fake smile. "Come now, you can trust me." He told her, wanting her to know that he was her friend. Morgana lingered for a moment, before meeting his gaze. "I just… feel as though I'm suffocating here, I don't belong." She confessed, wishing that he could make it alright- if anyone could, but that was a mere fantasy now.

"You do fit in." He explained, as he brushed a strand of raven hair from her face. She met his gaze for a second time when he did this. "I don't… I can't even love my husband." She told him, feeling that she was admitting too much to Lancelot, she didn't know him _that_ well after all. "In time you will." He told her, knowing the circumstance of their marriage- arranged. "Why does everyone keep saying that?" She moaned, annoyed. "Because everyone is right." He explained, as he watched her wavering dark locks spinning in the breeze. "I promise that you and Arthur will grow to become the King and Queen Camelot deserves." Lancelot went on, but she couldn't help but notice the bitterness in his voice when he said this, although she did not comment on it. She nodded, before the two remained in silence for a long moment, staring longingly into each other's eyes, not realising what they were doing.

Minutes passed, maybe even hours, it wasn't apparent to either of them. Each of them moving closer and closer at the moments streamed past them, before she knew it Lancelot's unshaven chin knocked against her own, before her lips were pressed to delicately against his. Strangely, her lips moved more graciously against his than they did Arthur's, the deep longing of the kiss, the pristine feeling of the aggressive pull. But soon Lancelot broke the moment apart, unable to meet her eyes. "My greatest apologies Milady- it wasn't my place to…" He began, not knowing what to say. "No, please…" She motioned, saddened that he was sorry. "I am Arthur's Knight, he is my friend- it was wrong of me to betray him." Lancelot scolded himself. "You are not to blame." Morgana told him. "You cannot blame yourself when I wanted it just as much." She said, somehow unsettled by how openly she had just spoken the words. Lancelot looked to her, and not a single moment was wasted before his lips were against hers again, the second kiss much more aggressive as their lips fought indefinitely with each other. The moment lasted longer, each minute appreciated and neither wanting it to end, but soon it had to, before Arthur grew suspicious.

Morgana returned to her room, a lot more light hearted than she had before, she had apologised to Arthur for being too foolish and admitted she just wasn't ready to commit such romantic deeds with him just yet, he accepted this and the two went to sleep- but it was odd- now Morgana didn't feel as awkward around the prestigious Prince, because her heart no longer belonged to him- it belonged to another, and she was simply too infatuated by this to consider his feelings just yet.

**PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE! :D**


	4. Chapter 4 Regretted Mistakes

**[ Okay, firstly I want to clear up the little Morgana/Lancelot incident in the last chapter. I got a few PM's over that, and I would just like to clear up that Morgana will NOT be having a relationship with Lancelot, I don't even like Lancelot/Morgana- but I needed to add that part in on the last chapter because it was what was needed to awake her from her grief. You'll read all this in this chapter, but I just want everyone to take a chill pill, kay? :) Okay! So we see Morgana's aggressive side in this chapter, the Morgana we all know and love! :D And we will see a big confrontation with Uther in this chapter as well, so please review! Thank you to everyone who R&R my story, it means the world- whether the feedback is good or bad, it's always constructive! I'm sure you'll like this chapter, as chapter 5 will be very action packed! :D Thank you. :) ]**

**Chapter 4**

"_Regretted Mistakes."_

Morgana awoke the next morning, alone in her chambers, Arthur had obviously gotten up earlier to go out hunting with his Knights- she could recall him mentioning this the day previously. The few oblivious moments were nice every morning when she awoke, the spilt seconds where everything was how it should be, happy and peaceful- where there was no suffering, no pain and certainly no grief. But those moments never lasted that long, before the sharp stab in her stomach brought her back to reality, that her father was dead- she was forced to marry Arthur and that she hated every moment of her life. But instead today, new thoughts washed into her mind- fresh reasons to hate her life further, the ghastly rush of thoughts; kissing Arthur, fleeing from the bedroom, crying and then kissing Lancelot. The last thought made her shoot up in her bed, what had she done? She had always promised herself that she would never commit adultery, that if the shoe was on the other foot she would be greatly grieved and upset- and here she was, just as bad. She didn't love Arthur, not like a wife should- but the thought of hurting him, his saddened face mixed with grief and despair made her want to cry.

"Milady?" Guinevere knocked before she entered her bedroom, carrying a bail of washing. "Is there something wrong?" Guinevere asked, when she saw Morgana sat up in her bed, her face painted with guilt. "No…" Morgana brushed her off as she scrambled out of her bed, quickly slipping behind her changing screen, careful not to meet Guinevere's gaze, because then her maid would know something was wrong. "Could you pass me my gown?" Morgana asked her frantically unbuttoning her nightdress. "Which one would you prefer to wear?" Guinevere asked as she opened her wardrobe. "Any one, I don't mind." Morgana told her. "Well- do you plan to go riding, or spend the day around the castle- or do you feel like going to the surrounding villages to browse the stalls?" Guinevere asked her brightly, flicking through the different coloured silk gowns. "Can you hurry; I have important matters to address." Morgana informed her, ignoring her outrageous bantering's about 'which gown'- what did it matter? "Oh, what are you planning to do?" Guinevere asked, intrigued- Morgana never had a plan for her day; she wondered what must have popped up to make her want to have a purpose. "Because if you're out on your horse, you'll need the-" Guinevere began again, but Morgana cut her off. "Will you just pass me a gown Gwen?" Morgana snapped in annoyance, agitated that Guinevere was being too unreasonable. "Of course…" Guinevere mumbled her voice now a lot quieter as she pulled her royal blue gown out and placed it over the changing screen- before lifting her emerald gown to take it to wash, as well as her nightdress. "Shall I leave you then, or will you need a hand with the combing of your hair?" Guinevere asked finally as she lifted the wash basket. "No, its fine." Morgana brushed off, not really listening to her maid; her mind was playing on other things.

Guinevere bowed herself out, her face full of sadness of how Morgana had snapped at her, but Morgana paid no heed. She quickly pulled her dress on before she went and brushed out her long, thick black hair before carefully tying it up into a bun- before she left her bedchambers. She needed to find Lancelot, she needed to explain that last night was a mistake, and that it was nothing more- she didn't have feelings for him. Her heart hung heavy in her chest, the overwhelming feeling of guilt taking over her, she couldn't bear doing these things behind Arthur's back, it made her feel terrible, he was so patient and kind with her- and now she was blatantly throwing it back in his face- she could not bear to break his heart, whether she loved him or not. But the tinkering feeling of guilt felt like it was so much more than that- if she did not love Arthur then why did she feel as awful as she did, why did she feel as though she had betrayed him- surely it was not betrayal if she did not have feelings for him. Nevertheless she brushed these foolish thoughts off and scrambled through the castle.

She searched far and low, not a single Knight could be seen anywhere- she turned a corridor before she caught sight of a familiar face. "Merlin!" She called down the corridor, making him stop and turn around, as he was carrying a tray full of half-eaten food. "Yes Milady?" Merlin asked, bringing a bright yet suspicious smile onto his lips. "Have you seen Arthur- or any of the Knights?" Morgana asked, flustered. "Oh, they left early this morning to go hunting- they should be back later this evening." Merlin told her, clearly struggling with the weight of the tray, as Morgana sighed and scoffed angrily to herself. "Is everything all right?" Merlin questioned, knowing something was up with Morgana. "Yes… Yes…" Morgana brushed off as she met his gaze and brought the forced smile back onto her lips. "Thank you Merlin." She told him, brightly, before she turned and wiped all glee from her face- her expression turning back to worry- before she stormed back up the corridor.

She waited anxiously in her bedroom all day, sat gazing out the window for the return of the Knights and Arthur, but it was growing dark, the sky a light shade of blue, before it was beckoning on a midnight shade- she was growing worried. "Gwen!" Morgana belted the moment her maid entered her room, Guinevere looked worried as she saw Morgana's face was anxiously expressed. "What is it?" Guinevere asked concern high in her tone as she rushed to assist Morgana. "Where's Arthur- why is he so late returning?" Morgana asked, afraid that something tragic had happened. "Oh, I'm sure he'll be back soon." Guinevere soothed, realising that Morgana feared the worst. "Why is no one else worried?" Morgana groaned in disbelief. "Because it's Arthur- he's not afraid of anything." Guinevere was back with her wise words- that weren't helping- or soothing, she needed to put things right with Lancelot- she needed to get rid of this stomach churning guilt.

Soon the clip-clops of Horse's hooves could be heard belting off the cobble stones outside, Morgana didn't waste a second, she didn't even look out of the window to make sure it was Arthur and his Cavalry returning- she just rushed from her bedchambers and down to the entrance hall, where she was met by the Knights, all staggering in through the castle as drunk as ever, in fact Percival was practically carrying Gwaine up the stone steps. Morgana's brows furrowed in anger, as she strode over to Arthur, her eyes no wide with concern as she looked at him. "Where were you all this time?" Morgana asked a worried tone apparent in her voice. "Tavern." Arthur coughed before erupting into laughing, mirrored by Elyan and the surrounding Knights who were drunk beyond comparison.

Morgana's growled under her breath angrily, before she was met with Lancelot who paraded up the steps, or somewhat staggering. "My _Lady_!" He boomed in exaggerated pride. She frowned at him, trying to turn her concentration back to Arthur, but she was cut off by Lancelot trying to mutter out words, her eyes widened, afraid that something might slip out. "How about another of those lavish kisses?" He asked, obnoxiously, the smell of ale wafting through the air as he edged closer to her. "Arthur, I'll see you upstairs." She explained, trying to ignore Lancelot- she felt sick with worry that Arthur might already know- but surely not. Instead she just stormed past, trying to act aggressive and annoyed, when really she was fearful and captivated by guilt.

Arthur beckoned his way over to Lancelot. "_Another_ of those lavish kisses?" Arthur questioned, his brows furrowed in confusion, as he stared up to the taller Lancelot, a glint of aggression in his tone. "Just a joke, Sire." Lancelot lied, holding his hands up defensively, it was strange how the alcohol had worn off the two so quickly and how the moment was now so heated in anger. "That is my wife you're talking about." Arthur snapped, knowing he would certainly be a match for Lancelot- despite the fact that Lancelot was built like a fighter, Arthur was a better one.

"My apologies Sire." Lancelot explained, growing worried- how idiotic he had been just then. "Next time I'd advise you to keep your jokes to yourself." Arthur spat in some form of disgust, as he gave Lancelot a glare of intimidation, before he retreated up to his bedchambers- leaving the Knights looking awkwardly around, ready to hold the two off if they decided to begin a fist fight right here in the hallway.

Arthur returned to his bedchambers, tugging off his jacket as threw it in a heap by the dining table; Merlin would lift it in the morning. "Don't worry…" Arthur began, as Morgana sat up in the bed to greet him, whilst Arthur took a seat in the red armchair, beginning to tug off his boots. "I just gave Lancelot a piece of my mind." Arthur smirked, as Morgana's face suddenly changed to shock.

"_What_?" Morgana asked, anxious of what was said. "He won't be bothering you with such disrespectful comments again." Arthur said rather proudly, feeling glad that he had defended his wife.

"Really Arthur- he meant no harm…" Morgana brushed off, not wanting to meet eye contact with Arthur, in case he sensed her guilt.

"Now, now. I saw the way you stormed off- it was obvious he upset you." Arthur half smirked, as he made his way over to the bed. "You're just too considerate for your own good." Arthur said in a rather soothing voice, his lips holding a soft smile as he blew out the candle and climbed into bed beside her, but he was careful not to get _too_ close, he knew how she felt- she wanted to take things excessively slow.

_Considerate._ Was that the right word to describe Morgana, because as she rolled onto her side she felt like a truly horrible person. A considerate person wouldn't blatantly lie to their husband; a considerate person would have _considered_ his feelings before they committed such a cruel act of betrayal.

Oh how she wished she could take it back- takes it all back, why didn't she just love Arthur when she had the chance? Now she'd ruined it, he'd never forgive her, she'd break his heart and she just couldn't bear that. She just wanted to love him now, as odd as it felt to even think that, she wanted everything to be okay- with no betrayal and no pain or hardship- but she selfishly threw all that away, and he heart ached the longer she carried this terrible burden, the more she looked him in the eye knowing she was nothing but a lying cheat- how he was oblivious to it all, how he would rather scold and belittle a friend for speaking the truth than to believe the horror he spoke, how Arthur continued to put her before everyone else whilst she played with his heart and maliciously kissed one of his one Knights out of an act of sorrow- when Arthur was right upstairs the entire time wanting to comfort her more than anyone, whilst she ran to another- she was a horrible person that did not deserve someone like Arthur.

Feeling these deep thoughts of panic and pain, she absently tugged her hand softly under the bedclothes and found Arthur's arm, before she traced it all the way down to his hand, before her fingers clasped it, and she intertwined her fingers delicately with his, before lightly squeezing it.

Arthur was surprised to feel Morgana's hand grip his own in the darkness, feeling her soft delicate fingers trace his hand before she intertwined her fingers with his, the gentle squeeze made his heart thud- what if she really was growing to love him? His heart flickered in a collision of beats and thumps as he believed Morgana was growing to share his feelings- and with that he gave her hand a gentle squeeze in return, neither of them letting go of the tight grip- or saying a single word to each other, because in that simple gesture all that needed to be said; was, and soon the two fell asleep- their hands clasped tightly in a delicate embrace.

Morgana pulled herself out of bed that morning, with a sleeping Arthur beside her. The moment she looked at him, the rushing surge of guilt flooded back to her- the overpowering feeling of regret captivating her- which was always welcomed back with the strange strain of sickness.

She quickly scrambled to get dressed, careful not to wake Arthur. Guinevere would be greatly suspicious when she would call later to find she wasn't there, but Morgana would brush her off with nonsense that she had something important to do out of town, or she just _felt_ like getting up- was that such a crime? Morgana slipped behind her changing screen and pulled on a green gown after she quickly washed, before she rushed to comb her hair untidily into a bun- dropping the metal hairbrush back onto the vanity table, as it clanged before bouncing the floor. She froze, her eyes widening as she glanced to Arthur- sure he was awoken. But he just grumbled and tossed over into the absence of the bed where Morgana should be.

With that Morgana took her chance and left the room, walking straight into Guinevere in the corridor. Great.

"Milady!" Guinevere surged in disbelief, unable to understand why Morgana was up and ready. "Gwen…" Morgana brushed off with a smile. "What are you doing up?" Guinevere asked, curious as to what Morgana was up to. "I just felt like getting up." Morgana explained, trying to maintain her smile, but wanting to get away from Guinevere all the same. "But I haven't even brought up your breakfast." Guinevere explained, her brows furrowed in curiosity and confusion. "I'm not even hungry." Morgana told her, how could she be hungry in a time like this? "Where are you going at this hour anyway?" Guinevere asked her, curiosity growing. "Gwen, I'm allowed to do as I please- I don't need your permission to leave my room." Morgana said, trying to put it as nicely as possibly but clearly agitated by Guinevere's constant questions. "Of course." Guinevere backed off, getting tired of Morgana- she was starting to treat her like a maid, something she never did, the two girls always got on as friends, Morgana sometimes feeling guilty for having Guinevere lift after her, but not now, she had changed.

With that Morgana gave a fake smile and paraded off down the corridor in search of Lancelot, she needed to put some things right. But as she reached the castles entrance she found it was bucketing with rain, something she hadn't noticed when she was getting dressed, but that didn't stop her- she pulled her hood over her head and set off towards the training ground- where Knights trained in all weather.

"Percival!" Morgana called as she seen the tall, well-built Knight carrying a sword back to the Armoury. "My Lady." He commented graciously, bowing softly as she approached him. "Have you seen Lancelot?" She questioned anxiously. "He should be in the Armoury; he headed in there but moments ago to return a sword." Percival explained, and she sped off in front of him- instead of walking calming beside him. She peeked her head around the great open doors to the Armoury as the rain pelted down on her emerald cloak. In the corner, engrossed by dark shadows, she spotted a tall figure, carefully polishing a sword- Lancelot. She entered, her brows furrowed anxiously.

"Milady." Lancelot said anxiously as he was aware of her presence. "I only stopped by to put things right…" She began, but was cut off when Percival had finally caught up with her. She made eyes to Lancelot, to follow her and he did, leaving a very curious Percival alone, Lancelot would fill him in later, he was sure of it.

"Just know…" She began, through the rain, not stopping to allow Lancelot to catch up with her, where she would be forced to look him in the eye. "That the other night meant _nothing_!" Morgana spat, in some of disgust, but not annoyed at Lancelot- annoyed at herself.

The words cut Lancelot like a knife, he froze, but only for a second- before he picked up his pace to pull her arm, she tugged it off aggressively. "No!" She commented sternly, turning to him face him. "The guilt is tearing me apart." She confessed, closing her eyes for a second, so the hurt didn't overwhelm her. She continued to walk, hoping he wouldn't follow- that this would be it.

But soon they were beckoning on the Castle steps, as the rain poured down over them- they couldn't talk about this now, with the fear of being overheard by a servant of guard. But Lancelot refused to stand down. "No! You said so yourself- you wanted it as much as I!" Lancelot half shouted at her, in a form of rage mixed with grief. "And did you really think I was in the right mind?" She spat at him in disbelief, turning to face him for a second time. "You knew how fragile I was- yet you didn't shy away." She frowned, annoyed at herself for being so naïve. "I told you no! I wanted to stop- you asked for more!" He said, his voice growing louder as he spoke. "I did _not_! I didn't know what I was saying- you should have known!" She retaliated angrily. "You share my feelings, don't you dare deny it!" He snapped aggressively. "I share _nothing_ with you." She spat, in the best form of disgust she could muster- knowing that her cruel words would hurt him, it was never her intention but he was being so malicious towards her because of this.

"You can deny them all you want, but I know you love me." He snarled. "_Love?_" Morgana laughed mockingly. "Go ahead and fool yourself with false truths, you wouldn't know the meaning of love." She spat him, in a patronizing way. "And you would?" He asked in disbelief. "Tell me your reason for running from the rom that night…" Lancelot asked, testing her patience. "Was it not because the thought of ever loving Arthur disgusted you?" Lancelot asked, knowing his words were beyond cruel- and that none of this was any of his business. "Arthur is my husband." She snapped through gritted teeth. "And I intend to keep it that way." Morgana growled. "Speak to me with that manner of disrespect again and you'll be warding off Arthur- when I tell him you tried to force yourself upon me." Morgana smirked viciously at her own lie as she stared up at him menacingly. "And I will tell him how you begged for another of my kisses." He snapped back with a smirk. "Go ahead- as if you'd believe your word against mine." Morgana laughed again in a mocking tone. "I am his _wife_ after all." She smirked, moving her eyes in a cruel way before she turned from him and marched up the steps to the castle.

She pulled her now sopping hood down as she entered the entrance hall. She barely had time to shake the rain off before a gloved leather hand gripped her forearm and tugged her into the throne room. She let a small squeal escape her lips before the doors were closed and Uther Pendragon stood before her. "How dare you!" She began angrily. "How dare _you!"_ The King spat in return as he gritted his teeth, eyes wide with aggression. "I should behead you- no, strike you down where you stand!" The King crossed over on his mind. "Wouldn't be the first time…" Morgana coughed to herself, before the King gripped her two arms and shook her aggressively. "With one of his Knights! You dare betray my son!" Uther roared into her face, before she furrowed her brows and shook him off nastily. "It wasn't what it looked like…" Morgana tried to explain, her expression now panicked. "I heard every word, how dare you deny it!" Uther told her in disbelief. "What has my son done to deserve this?" Uther began again, his voice every measure of angry. "Nothing!" Morgana explained, but Uther furrowed his brows at her, pursing his lips. "Then why do you continue to sneak behind his back, to betray him!" Uther snarled in every form of disgust. "I have nothing to explain to a _murderer_!" Morgana said through gritted teeth as she turned to leave, but she felt the painful grip of Uther's fingers digging into the skin of her upper arm as he spun her around and shook her violently again.

"You will bore my son an heir, or I'll tell him." Uther gestured, still upset and angered by his daughter-in-law's betrayal. "_What_?" Morgana spat in disbelief- an heir? Where did this suddenly come from? "I know you are not the best wife I could've asked for my son to marry." Uther went on, whilst Morgana was obvious to it all. "But Gorlois was a good man-"

"A good man you let die!" Morgana snapped at him, going to make a move on him- a punch, a slap, a kick- anything- but he grabbed her wrists and gritted his teeth as he shoved her off aggressively, sending her back quite a few steps as she stumbled slightly from the force of his push. "You will SHOW ME SOME RESPECT!" Uther yelled, as she beckoned away. "I did not kill your father girl- he killed himself when he got up and raised his sword!" Uther snarled in an intimidating way, tired of her false accusations. "He stepped up to save _you_! A pathetic excuse for a King! And he paid for it, with his life!" Morgana shouted back at him in grief and annoyance. "He knew what he was getting into!" Uther frowned, his voice still raised. "You refer to my father as a good friend- he got up to defend you, yet you could not do the same- you couldn't risk your life for him, as he did you- you selfish, arrogant pig!" Morgana cried out in rage, as Uther turned to her, eyes wide with fury as he griped her around the neck, threatening to choke her with his tight grip. "You will bore my son an heir- or you will die." Uther whispered intimidatingly into her face. "Then I'd rather die." Morgana snarled back in a low whisper, through gritted teeth. "You'll get your wish." Uther snapped, pushing her away forcefully again. "Guards!" Uther yelled. "Wait!" Morgana frowned, as Uther gestured the guards to leave again.

"Why do you want me to bore your son an heir, why would you want your son to have a child with someone who cheated on him?" Morgana asked, curious but the fury still playing on her tone. "So you admit you betrayed him?" Uther questioned. "I admit I was foolish- for a split second and nothing more." Morgana confessed, wanting Uther to know- as much as she loathed him, that she did not mean Arthur hurt or harm. "I do not wish to hurt your son." She admitted, Uther softening his frown. "Then you will bore him an heir?" Uther asked in hope. "No." She shook her head; children were never in her plan for life, foolish as it seemed she could never see herself as a loving, giving mother. "Why?" Uther belted out in anger. "You might want children Uther, but I do not- I do not want to have a child with a man I do not love!" Morgana spat at him, she loved Arthur, in some senses her feelings were growing stronger given the past circumstances, but she did not love him enough to create a child with him, to bring another life into the world with a man she did not wholly love.

"You confess you do not want to hurt my son and then admit you do not love him in the same breath!" Uther raged in disbelief. "Why do _you_ want an heir, from me!" Morgana asked angrily, she wanted her answer. "I can see how much Arthur loves you- he has come to me many a time, craving a child- craving love from you, love you will not give. He fears you will never share his feelings." Uther confessed to her. "He has said all of this to you? Why not me?" Morgana asked, hurt that Arthur had been crying out behind her back, how had she not seen it. Uther scoffed when she said this.

"You? He tried too many times, but you continued to show him the cold shoulder- you pushed him away- who else had he?" Uther snarled angry with her. Whereas Morgana stood, taken aback and quite hurt that she had selfishly been too wrapped up in her own feelings to notice his. "He loves you greatly; it is you he wants to bore an heir with." Uther rolled his eyes. "It is against my wishes of course, but it is what he so greatly wants." Uther told her, or rather growled angrily at her, whilst she stood pinned to the spot.

"Will you bore my son an heir?" Uther asked a second time, Morgana felt guilty, hurt- but these emotions would not force her into making a foolish decision. She shook her head, raging Uther. "Then you will die." Uther threatened, as Morgana lifted her head and nodded. "Then so be it, let your son go off and find a better wife- one who will give him what he wants, and above all- one that will show him the love I cannot." Morgana admitted grievously, her words full of truth and honour- she didn't deserve Arthur, why condemn him to this leading-on façade when she knew she did not want him in that way, she would love him, but it would never be enough. "So be it." Uther nodded, a hint of aggression in his tone, as Morgana left the hall, to return to her husband, her heart now heavy with guilt and pain.

**Ooh, so will Uther have Morgana killed? R&R to find out! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5 History repeats itself

**[ Hey! :D I hope you all enjoy this chapter; I had a lot of fun writing it. In this chapter we really get into the story, and a lot of stuff happens, I hope you all have fun reading it. :) If you have any questions don't be afraid to ask in a review or to PM me. :) Anyway, this is possibly the longest chapter but that's because we really start to get into the real plot now! :) Thank you to EVERYONE who put this story on their alerts, who favourite and who reviewed the previous chapters- it means the world to me! And thank you for taking the time to read this chapter! :) x ]**

**Chapter 5**

"_History repeats itself." _

Morgana roamed around the castle that day, with a heavy heart. She was on edge throughout the day, jumping at _everything_. Uther informed her that he would kill her, because she refused to bore his son an heir, because she refused to love him- but he didn't say when or how he would kill her- and although she put on a brave, noble front- deep down the fear of it all was tearing her apart. How could she look at Arthur now, knowing she had ruined just about everything? She had betrayed him, she did not love him enough to give him his heart's desire, and she was so cold towards him- and as she looked back on the past few months of their marriage she realised just how selfish she was, she had been so cruel to him when he so desperately tried to make her happy; she had pushed everything back in his face, he loved her so much, yet she was so blinded by grief she had ran to another for comfort, when Arthur so willingly wanted to give it. Foolishly she had kissed Lancelot, and now her heart hung as heavy as ever, although she had informed Lancelot that she felt no desire for him, the burden of knowing she betrayed her husband tore her apart- and it wouldn't have, only Arthur loved her so dearly and if he ever found out she knew it would tear him apart.

"Are you alright Morgana?" Came the soft delicate voice of the Prince as he strode up the corridor, to find her standing there- frozen in her thoughts, her face painted with guilt and despair. "Yes." Morgana explained, turning to him with a false smile painted on her lips, unaware that he had been watching her for the last few minutes. "Are you sure?" He questioned again. "Of course." She brushed off with a modest smile.

Arthur sensed it, that there was something wrong- not that there wasn't _always_ something wrong, Morgana was always either wrapped up in grief about her father still- or angry with his father, but he knew something was up- something _different_. He had to admit that she was slowly warming to him, she wasn't as cold as she once was, in fact he hadn't been given the cold shoulder from her- instead he got one of her modest smiles, that melted his heart dare he say it. He wished he could embrace her, he craved it so- and he hated that she might shy away from him again, that in doing so it might upset her- and he didn't want that.

Soon she smiled brightly again to him. "I better be getting on." She chimed happily, before she strode off down the corridor, she looked like a goddess, there wasn't a flaw in her that he could see, she was utterly perfect in her eyes and so very beautiful; her long ravenous black hair that lay in waves and flowed like a waterfall down her back, shimmering as she walked. Her pale complexion that had her dazzling emerald eyes shine out from it- what wasn't there to love? He sighed like an infatuated teenage boy, before she turned and was out of sight- before he went back the other way, doing his daily activities, but how he longed to spend his days with her, every second if he could.

The long day finally drew to a close, and as Arthur retreated to his bedchambers he found Morgana already in bed- she spent every waking moment in these bedchambers now. "Are you alright?" He asked as he entered, returning from dinner with his father- a dinner Morgana never shared with them. Morgana gave a shy nod, before she lay down in the bed, the room aglow in candlelight as he went to take his boots off on the red armchair, before he heard the loud gallops of horse's hooves bellowing off the cobbles outside. He stood up and walked to the window, to see his father atop a great black stallion, galloping from Camelot gates alone. "What is it?" Morgana asked, her tone anxious as she shot up in the bed, noticing Arthur's sudden change in mood as he gazed out the window. "It's father…" Arthur told her as Morgana's stomach flipped. "He's… What's he doing leaving Camelot _alone_ at this hour?" Arthur questioned to himself, before he turned to Morgana to see her face full of fear. He shot her a soft smile. "Don't worry- I'm sure it's nothing." He reassured her. "I'll be back in a moment." Arthur said, shooting her another warm smile before he left to see what was going on.

Morgana took deep breaths, so much that she felt dizzy- sick even. What if this was something to do with her death? What if Uther was already plotting? Her eyes were wide as her heart was now beating at rapid pace, her heartbeat now sounding in her eyes as she saw black fuzziness cloud her gaze, what was happening? She was going into a fully flared panic attack. She shot up in the bed, gasping for air as he head rested on the bedpost. She thought of warm thoughts, kind thoughts- but she didn't exactly have anything nice and warm to think of- her death was hanging over her, how could she see any good in that?

Slowly, the black clouds vanished, and the overwhelming throb in her head disappeared too- as she gasped for her, as her laboured breath evened out, and just in time too- as she heard the door opening and Arthur return.

"Morgana!" Arthur half-shouted as he rushed to her side, "I'm fine…" She brushed off at once. "Are you sure?" He questioned, panic in his tone. "You look as though you've seen a ghost." Arthur confessed, sitting beside her and pulling his arm around her, not caring that she might not want it; he didn't want harm to come to her. Thankfully she didn't shake him off, she just sat there, frozen in fear as her eyes were wide, trying to compose herself. "Honestly…" She told him after a few moments, breaking away from his embrace. "I'm fine." She reassured him, when she felt she could put on a brave face.

"What of Uther?" She asked a delicate smile on her lips as she met his gaze. "He's fine." Arthur informed her. "Someone in the lower part of the town suspected witchcraft, he's off to find the culprit himself." Arthur said smugly. "It isn't like him to go alone; normally he would ask you to accompany you on something as serious." Morgana told him, shaking her head in disapproval. "He didn't want to disturb me so late, and its only about five minutes ride away, no harm will come to him- apparently he took two of the Guards." Arthur explained, shocked that she seemed so worried.

Morgana nodded to him, a smile on her lips- a fake one. "We best be getting to sleep." She told him, making him aware of the time. "Yes." Arthur nodded, as he slapped his thighs and got up off the bed and went to get changed, leaving a suspicious Morgana to dream of terrible things, before he too slowly clambered in beside her and fell softly to sleep.

"You must tell my son I was called for, in the lower town." Uther informed one of his guards as he mounted his horse. "He is likely to ask questions, but inform him that everything is fine and it is only a small matter- and that I should be back within the hour." Uther commanded sternly as he pulled his cloak across his horse's hide. "And what if Arthur complains you did not ask him for his presence?" The Guard asked, wanting to know exactly what he had to say to the Prince. "You will inform him that I did not want to worry him, and tell him I brought two Knights with me." Uther informed his Guard, before he dug his heels into his horse, but hand to pull the reigns to make him stop- since his Guard had yet another question. "Where are you going Sire?" The guard asked with much curiosity through his helmet. "That is none of your concern." Uther brushed off coldly, before soon his horse was galloping against the cobbles of Camelot, his cloak flying in the wind.

The sound of hooves against cobbles was soon lost, the sound now delicate thumps off the grass as it fell in melodically, Uther moving with the motion of his horse- in a radiant, chivalrous gallop, feeling as though he was in his younger days, when he would set off with his Knights to fight against magnificent beasts and such, but that job lay in his son's hands now.

The thoughts of what he was doing lingered in his mind, whether what he was doing was right or wrong didn't occur to him, he was blinded by the hatred for the young woman married to his one and only son. He wanted to cause Morgana great pain, to kill her- slash her down with his sword, but he could not- for Arthur loved her greatly and to bring pain onto him willingly would be unbearable. But Arthur was heartbroken that she did not return any of his feelings or romantic gestures, a child might bond the two- but the constant thought that a life had to be taken wavered in his mind. He would go to the High Priestess that was Nimueh and ask too much of her for a second time, he would beg her to make the Lady Morgana pregnant, so she could bore Arthur a child, an heir- of course if Uther had his choice he would not allow Arthur to conceive a child with the likes of her, but Arthur loved her- so he must accept it.

Of course, Nimueh would want a life in return, Uther would willingly sacrifice Morgana's, he was selfish in not wanting her around much longer, he couldn't bear the day that she was Queen of Camelot, but by making her bore his son an heir- it left Arthur with a piece of her, a child- whilst Uther would be happy in knowing she would not rue Camelot when he was gone, he was sure she would allow Magic back and change everything he stood for,' just because she hated him. Morgana would become overwhelmed with power if she got the throne, she didn't love Arthur so she would happily cast him aside and ruin his Kingdom.

Soon, the forest was clearing, he felt as though he was on horseback for hours, when really it had been just over a half an hour. The thick forest of trees was slowly simmering, until he was free of its jungle-like captivation, and only a large lake lay ahead of him now, with the eerie fog that swarmed the air. Uther dismounted his horse, and let it roam free to the side-lines, to get some rest, as he reluctantly beckoned on the rowboat which was tied to the land.

The weight of him made the boat rock and the water ripple, but soon the small boat set off silently on the dark water, gliding softly along. Uther stared out at the horse which he had left behind, it slowly became smaller, and smaller and when he turned to look in front of him the old ruin of the castle which lay ahead of him was growing bigger and bigger, until soon it was upon him. The boat slowed before it finally stopped. And Uther glanced up at the ruin, as large as it was, engulfed by shadows and fog which crept around and captivated everything. He took a long, anxious sigh- he was about to commit a terrible crime, the last time he played with magic is lost him his wife, and he somehow felt pathetic to come crawling back to Nimueh after all these years, when he had banished her and killed all of her kind- she would be wise not to fulfil Uther's wishes, for if the show was on the other foot Uther would not do the same for her- but he would beg her. Morgana needed to die and Arthur needed an heir, he was meddling in his son's life, doing what he thought was for the good- but something told him that what he was doing was wrong and it would soon come back to haunt him, as many a thing did.

Uther crept around the dark walls of stone, utter silence surrounded him- not a single sound could be heard, for a place to be this quiet- it didn't seem right. He walked up the long stone steps, brought up into the centre of the old ruin, the dazzling velvet sky above him, twinkling with stars; nothing lay around him but grass and a stone pedestal in the middle. He only hoped to find Nimueh here.

"I seek your presence." He whispered through the darkness, but nothing happened. His eyes were a glow with nervousness and fear, waiting for something to jump out- but it didn't. "I have come to ask a favour." Uther called out a second time, waiting a few moments to be reacquainted with silence and loneliness again. He sighed heavily, looking down to the ground before a cruel laugh filled his ears.

"Well, well, well…" Came the vicious tone of Nimueh as she glided elegantly around him, her wine shaded dress trailing the grass, as Uther jumped from her company. "Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot- come to ask for my assistance." Nimueh prodded out proudly, in a mocking tone. "How dare you." She spat down at him, her tone losing all humour. "How dare you come to me and ask for anything." She said aggressively, he hung his head- knowing he was wrong.

"You come here, thinking you will get what you ask for because you are King." Nimueh said silently, her tone full of hatred for the King. "You're foolish titles mean nothing here." She condemned, walking in circles around him. "What is it you ask for?" Nimueh shouted, seeming very intimidating.

"Please…" Uther begged his face awash with grief. "I have come to ask a favour." He began. "A favour is something you ask, but willingly return it in good time." Nimueh told him in anger. "Yet you ask for many favours and never return a single one." She snapped aggressively. "Instead you banish me and kill my kind- what makes you think I'd do anything for you?" She snarled, her rage boiling the more she spoke, Uther feeling that she might injure him with magic at any moment. "Please…" He begged, falling to his knees. "How pathetic of you Uther." She half-laughed viciously. "What is it you have come to ask?" She asked a second time, growing impatient. "My son…" Uther began, looking to the ground, ashamed at himself. "I want you to impregnate his wife with a child." He pleaded, the words leaving his lips disgusted him- he waited for Nimueh to laugh cruelly- and she did.

"Have you learnt nothing from your past mistakes?" Nimueh asked him, but not waiting long enough for an answer. "A life must be taken in order to commit such a deed; the balance must be restored in the world." Nimueh explained, growing tired of it- Uther knew the rules yet he constantly thought they would change for his because he was King. "A life must be sacrificed, it is for the reason alone you killed my kind last time, it is for that reason alone that I now stand an enemy against your land." Nimueh spat down at him, angered and grieved by what pain actions deeds had caused her last time.

"No…" he began, still unable to meet her gaze. "I already have a life you can take." Uther told her. "A sacrifice." Uther spat out at last, before he looked up to Nimueh for the first time. "Arthur's wife." Uther told her, seeing her face change.

"Is this woman unable to bear a child?" Nimueh asked, confused. "Is she willing to sacrifice her own life to bore a child for you son?" Nimueh asked him, her brows furrowed in confusion. "No…" Uther told her, looking to the ground again. "She refuses to bore a child." Uther told her, enraged by Morgana. "Neither her or my son knows I am here…" Uther explained, glancing up to her again. "You are very foolish Uther." Nimueh scoffed in disbelief. "You are betraying your son; does he not love this woman?" Nimueh asked, confused by it all. "He does… He loves her greatly." Uther confessed, feeling belittled and pathetic. "Then why break his heart? You know how it feels to lose a love Uther, we all paid for it." Nimueh frowned, knowing the subject was fragile but not caring, she wasn't to blame for Igraine's death, yet he so willingly baled her- she would not be the blame for another.

"If she becomes Queen… Camelot will fall." Uther admitted. "She betrays my son, she holds no love for him- she either dies in childbirth and leaves my son a remembrance of her, or I will kill her myself." Uther looked up to her, anger blazed in his eyes as he held his tone viciously. "If she dies during childbirth I will hold no blame, therefore my glad relationship with my son will go untouched." Uther informed Nimueh of his plan, and what a great plan it was, at least in his eyes.

"You will not hold the blame but I will." Nimueh snapped. "It was I who paid greatly for the death of your wife!" Nimueh growled through the darkness. Uther hung his head, knowing she would use this, and she had every right to. "It is I who will get the blame of this other woman, it is Arthur who will hunt me down and want to slay me!" Nimueh bellowed down at him. "Do you fear my son?" Uther questioned with curiosity as he brought his gaze up upon her. Nimueh laughed, in some kind of cruel way. "It is he who should fear me." Nimueh explained, looking down to Uther with serious eyes. "If this comes back to me Uther, I will slay you down." She shook her head slowly, speaking the words through gritted teeth.

"You will do it? You will fulfil my wish?" Uther asked, his tone full of disbelief whilst his eyes were beaming in hope. "You meddled with magic once Uther, it brought you great pain." She explained, "You were cruel to it, you banished it when you did not get your way- do not be surprised if things don't work out as planned the second time." Nimueh told him through a smirk. "What do you mean?" Uther asked, fear in his voice, the hope in his eyes replaced with curiosity. "That is for you to find out, Sire." She told him, throwing in a mocking laugh.

Soon a whirlpool of wind was circling around them, Nimueh began chanting Old English, raising her arms as the wind made her hair sail. She spoke to the skies and suddenly a great downfall of rain heavily soaked the ruin around them. "What are you doing?" Uther commanded as he tried to pull himself up, battling with the wind and the rain. Nimueh ignored him, continuing to chant, and her eyes now glowing orange to red.

Uther's eyes were alight with fear, he remembered he last words- 'Do not be surprised when things don't work out as planned the second time.' He was regretting everything now, what would happen? But he had no time to think- because suddenly the rain stopped and the whirling wind ceased. Everything grew deathly silent, even quieter than before- if that was even possible. He glanced to Nimueh, to find she was holding a silver Goblet encrusted with magnificent red rubies, she held it out for Uther to take.

"The woman will drink from this Goblet that has been cleansed. She will be impregnated with Arthur Pendragon's child. It is for her and for her alone to drink from." Nimueh explained, as Uther lifted a wary hand to accept the glorious goblet. "But- what you said before?" Uther asked with fear in his voice. "Do you want your deed granted or not?" Nimueh asked him, ignoring his request.

Uther feared it, he was sure that Nimueh meant harm; her words were vicious and cruel, with a hidden meaning. It didn't make sense that she would grant him his wish so easily, after everything he had done. But the vision of Morgana as Queen, whilst his son lay with a broken heart- he knew what she was, a whore that snuck off with the Knights- he had to stop her, she had evil in her heart, she meant ill-wishes upon Camelot. Uther's mind had been filled with hate and loathing for this woman, for being accused of killing her father to watching her cheat on his son; with those thoughts he grabbed the Goblet proudly, a smirk growing on his lips- but Nimueh had vanished, and only her cruel laugh remained and echoed off the ruin walls- which brought fear back to Uther's eyes- before he left quickly wanting to complete this horrendous crime.

Morgana lay asleep in her bed, beside Arthur- but she tossed and cried out in her sleep fearfully, whilst the half-asleep Arthur keep grunting for her to shut up.

The horrifying image of her stomach growing bigger and bigger- of Uther's menacing smile, images of horrible, horrible things to come; Camelot in flames, a dragon swarming the grounds roaring its fiery breath on the people, but lastly- the bright blue evil eyes of one infant, one new born child staring up with eyes of horror and despair- crying horrifically.

With that image still etched into her mind Morgana shot up in her bed, panting and gasping for breath as she cried out, her cries edging on screams. Her emerald eyes were large and full of fear, like glass- looking but not seeing. She could not shake the image of the crying child, as though she were still in her nightmare.

Arthur was rudely awoken by Morgana's screams; he shot up in his bed, drowsy but panicked- what had happened? He looked to Morgana to see she was shaking her head violently and begging for something to stop with harsh sobs, what was it? "Morgana?" He questioned, alarmed by how she was reacting. "What is it?" He asked her, staring around the room, to find nothing was there.

But Arthur had no time to ask a second time, because now he found her head buried in his chest as she rocked slightly, her eyes still wide with fear. "Make it stop!" She begged in a fearful whisper. Arthur soon realised what was up- her nightmares, he had forgotten she was plagued with them ever since she was little.

"It's alright." He ushered as he brought his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly. But she continued to cry and beg, for whatever it was to go away. "What is it?" He whispered to her, as he rested his chin on top of her glossy black hair, but Morgana shook her head- not wanting to tell him, afraid that the moment she spoke these words, that they would come true- and she could not bear for the horrifying images to turn to reality. "Come now, Morgana." Arthur whispered, the sobs were stifling and the images in her mind were fading slowly and she could no longer hear the raging cries of the baby in her ears.

Finally Arthur pulled her back onto the pillows, his arms still cradled around her. "There is nothing to fear." He assured her, as he stared up at the ceiling, her head still resting on his chest. Morgana clung to him, not wanting to let go, to be left alone again with the terrible images in her mind. Her arms were wrapped tightly around him; her gasps slowly out as he stroked her hair, and soon the two fell to sleep again in a soothing and reassuring embrace.

The next morning Morgana awoke with Arthur parading into the room, wearing a large smile she shot up in her bed, not realising she had slept in, surprised that Arthur hadn't woke her when he had gotten up. "Good morning." He perked as he grinned at Morgana. "How are you?" He asked, wanting to know if she was feeling alright from last night, but she brushed him off and ignored him. "What is it? Why're you so happy?" Morgana asked, her brows furrowing in annoyance. "Father." He beamed. "This may… upset you." He took a sigh. "But, he wishes to apologise to you- he wants to put all the bad dealings aside and start a new leaf." Arthur smiled with hope, as he stared at her. "And why doesn't your father apologise himself?" She snarled, looking away from Arthur with a frown. "Oh, he intends to." Arthur said proudly. "Tonight he plans to throw a feast in your honour, and make an open apology to you there." Arthur informed her, and Morgana's face fell. Something wasn't right- after all Uther had said to her, and now he wanted to forget it all, Uther had promised her death, thoughts didn't change that quickly.

"What is it?" Arthur questioned, finding her lost in thought. "Nothing." She brushed off. "Do you accept his offer?" Arthur asked, hoping and wishing she would agree. A forced smile pushed its way onto her lips, before Morgana nodded. "Of course." She smiled, wanting to make Arthur happy- but knowing something wasn't quite right. What if Uther really did forgive her? And believe that she would grow to love his son? She was forgetting the words he spoke the other day were in a fit of rage. But nevertheless she smiled to Arthur, seeing him prance around the room with joy, like a small child. "I will inform him immediately!" Arthur grinned, before he dashed from the room, but Morgana couldn't ignore the horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.

The day lagged and Morgana chose not to think of last night's events- it was just a dream after all, right? She had had nightmares before, but the more she thought none were as horrific as that one. Perhaps it was all the stress of Uther promising her death, betraying Arthur and the death of her father, perhaps it was a huge build up in her mind. But yet none were relevant to the past events- a baby, a baby with large blue eyes that cried out to her- but no, she wouldn't think of it, she didn't want to frighten herself again. Instead she wrapped her fear away and got excited for tonight. It was odd that she feel excited, that Uther even wanted to apologise, but she was naïve enough in thinking he wanted peace, to brush it aside; he loved Arthur, perhaps he was doing it for his sake? Surely.

Guinevere dressed her in a glorious cream gown, embellished with golden threads; she tussled her hair to one side, as it hung long and waved down one side of her shoulder, whilst she wore a beautiful diamanté headdress to match. "You look breath-taking Morgana!" Guinevere beamed with pride as Morgana blushed. "I have not seen you so happy Morgana." Guinevere informed her with a soft smile. "I am glad." Guinevere nodded, before Morgana left the room and went to join the glorious feast in her honour.

It was strange to see Uther with a smile on his face, and for that smile to be directed at her, he loathed her- wasn't that correct? But surely, the smile he wore was genuine and pure- not a hint of hatred. "Morgana!" He beamed, kissing her hand as she took a seat beside him. "I wish to put all bad feelings behind us." Uther told her silently, so only she could hear. "We cannot keep this hatred up, for Arthur's sake." Uther whispered, she nodded- knowing it was true. "I apologise for all grief I have brought upon you, for all the bad words I have said- we shall put it behind us and start again." Uther smiled, taking her hand. "Do you accept?" Uther asked her, she smiled bashfully and nodded before he embraced her, now she knew that this was real- he didn't hate her and now she couldn't find it within her to hate him, he had given her a second chance, she couldn't blow it- for Arthur's sake.

The feast went on all night as the people cheered and sung merrily to the beautiful harp playing, along with the happy Bard who danced around providing gleeful tunes for the people. It was growing late when Uther tapped his golden Goblet and stood up. "I wish to present the Lady Morgana, with a gift!" He shouted to the people, before a humble servant stepped forward with a wooden box, he bowed and opened the box, allowing Morgana to look inside.

A glorious silver Goblet, encrusted with magnificent rubies lay within the wooden box, traced with purple silk. "Uther, you shouldn't have." She gasped, before she took it out and felt the wonderful rubies in her hands. "I insist." He informed her, before the guest cheered and Arthur smiled from ear—to-ear, like a child in a sweet shop.

"Come!" Uther bellowed. "You will drink from it now!" Uther insisted, with a grand toothy smile. "No, no such things can only be admired, I wouldn't want to." She explained, knowing the goblet would look grand on a shelf in her room. "I insist Morgana!" Uther explained, ignoring her as he poured it full of red wine, before he lifted it and handed it to Morgana. Morgana smiled, before accepting the cup and drinking from it, sipping the cold red wine, as it sailed down her throat. She grinned before she set it down on the table, finally happy that she could begin her life- the way it should have been all those months ago; there was nothing to fear now, because now she realised over time, she probably could love Arthur like a wife should.

The night dawdled on, people growing drunk and they began to cheer loudly, even Arthur- who was as gleeful as ever, shouting and parading with his Knights and Merlin. Lancelot shot her a glance but she looked away immediately before she got up to go and inform Arthur she would retire for the evening.

Morgana stood up, and the room started to spin, it was sort of foggy and blurred, but she still attempted to make her way to her husband, getting around the table before he was only mere steps away- she had obviously had too much wine. But something was right, the room was spinning at a fast pace around her, people's voice were growing slurred and fuzzy- she had never been drunk like this before.

Arthur caught sight of her, standing in the middle of the room; they made eye-contact for less than a second before he saw her eyes flicker beneath her eyelids, his face dropped, all joy lost and replaced with panic.

Soon Morgana found herself falling, before she landed on the cold, stone floor in a painful thump, but she didn't have time to recognise the pain, only the loud bellow of 'Morgana!' from Arthur faded through her ears, before everything turned black, and she found herself unconscious.

**R&R FOR MORE! :D**


	6. Chapter 6 The Nightmare Begins Part 1

**Authors Note:**

_Hey everyone! I'm so sorry it's taken me a while to update, but I felt the need to cut this chapter into two, since altogether it was simply too long for one chapter. And I guess it's a nice two chapter update for me taking so long to finally continue. I hope you all enjoy them! Please R&R. (:_

**Chapter 6**

"_The Nightmare Begins"_

**Part 1**

"Move Merlin!"

"What happened to her?"

"I don't know!"

"Trust you to pick a wife who likes wine more than me!"

"Shut up Gwaine!"

"I'm surprised she hasn't got concussion from hitting that stone floor…"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?"

The loud voices buzzing by stole the silence around her, she could scarcely feel the warm mattress which she lay on or the soft gentle bed sheet that had been pulled around her. Morgana could hear Arthur's voice, more so than the rest- was it because he was closer? She didn't know; her eyelids had become as heavy as led. Arthur seemed panicked and flushed, she could sense the growing anger he was developing for Gwaine, who seemed to be in the room to making sharp, inappropriate jokes.

Morgana wanted so desperately to open her eyes, but their voices kept drifting in and out, swarming around her to low whispers and then loud screams as the consciousness wavered within her.

But finally, after what felt like a decade later, she felt the freezing hand of Gaius press her forehead, making her eyes shoot open, whether it was from the shock of the cold or the simple reaction of this situation she was now in, she didn't know.

The dizziness had not entirely disappeared, but she couldn't help but furrow her brows and shoot up in the bed, to see everyone standing around her. The hot flush of embarrassment washed through her, as she saw Guinevere by her bedside, along with a concerned Arthur. Gwaine stood by the door with a still Uther, whilst Merlin stood at the bottom of her bed, right beside Gaius. Really, was there much need for the audience?

Morgana made an attempt to pull herself put of the bed, as she pulled the covers off her. But everyone swarmed to her, as Arthur pushed her head back on the pillow and Guinevere tightened the covers around her.

"No, no." Gaius told her. "You are unwell Morgana." He told her with a concerned tone, somehow patronizing as though she were scolding her like a child.

"I feel perfectly fine!" Morgana snapped, although lying to herself and to Gaius. She still felt a slight bit dazed, and the sickened feeling hadn't left.

"No, no." Gaius said again, as Uther perked up and made his presence known. "Well, at least she's conscious." He said with a wide grin, slapping Gwaine on the shoulder, as Gwaine looked to him with a wary smile, bewildered as to why Uther was slapping him on the shoulder. Uther then gave a slight look of disgust before he left the room, and Gwaine followed- warily.

But, whilst everyone was captivated by Uther's disappearance, Morgana took another chance to pull herself from the bed, but Guinevere caught sight of her and frowned. "No Morgana!" She groaned, speaking to her as though she were a disobedient dog.

"Leave me alone, I'm perfectly fine!" Morgana scowled.

"You just fainted Morgana." Arthur joined in- since when was he on Guinevere's side?

"So!" Morgana protested, sitting up in the bed.

"So?" Arthur echoed. "Morgana- you aren't leaving the room until Gaius says you are well."

"I am well!" Morgana shouted in fury, she was well- not really, but they didn't need to know that.

"Come Morgana." Gaius frowned, as Morgana looked away from him and huffed loudly.

"Leave me." Morgana said finally, not looking to anyone, as her brows furrowed in rage as she spoke. "What?" Guinevere asked a tone of disbelief in her tone. "Morgana you are unwell- surely it is not wise to stay here alone." Guinevere tried to make her see reason, wanting the Lady to look at her.

"Leave me!" Morgana shouted again, she wasn't listening to Guinevere now, it was basically her fault she was still in this bed, and she could have made a break for it moments ago, until she stopped her.

Gaius pushed Merlin out, as he left whilst Guinevere was quite taken aback by Morgana's bitterness towards her, she bowed herself out too and left, when Morgana felt much happier that she didn't have any of them around her. But then she saw Arthur still by her bed.

"Go." She frowned through gritted teeth. "But Morgana…" Arthur tried to explain, but he found himself lost for words. "Go!" She shouted again, not wanting to be left with him either- she was fine, and everyone was telling her differently, surely she knew how she felt.

Arthur looked quite upset by her words, feeling hurt that his company would be no use to her, but he refused to let it show on his face, he let a small forced smile break through the sadness before he left, finally leaving Morgana alone.

Arthur had spent the night in Morgana's old bedroom, the one she would use when she had come to visit many times when she was with her father, ever since she was a small girl up until she was a fully grown woman and now she was his wife, which meant that room was no longer hers, although everyone still referred to it as her previous room.

He had been deeply concerned about her, Gaius had informed him that it was due to the drunken festivities that she had simply taken too much wine, but Morgana never took too much wine- he couldn't help but have a bad feeling about it, ever since he had seen her fall to the floor, it just wasn't right.

Nevertheless he was happy she seemed well, and was sure she would be fine today, after having a night's sleep over her. And so he made his way to his room, where she would be, wrapped up in bed still he was sure.

But he was given a great surprise when he knocked and opened the door to find her fully dressed and by the window, gazing out at Camelot.

"Morgana…" Arthur said with a wariness, not forgetting that he had told him to leave last night, it probably hurting him more than it should- but he swept it under the rug as always.

Morgana shot around and looked at him, startled since she had not heard him enter, but she turned to the window again nonetheless. "What?" She asked, although no expression was given away in her tone.

"How're you feeling?" He asked, wary of the snappish mood she was in, he knew to be careful.

"Fine Arthur, the same as I was last night." She said, her brows furrowing slightly- he wished she wouldn't do that as often, she hated when she frowned, to upset the beautiful features of her face.

Arthur decided it would be better not to protest with her, in fear of what she might do, start shouting and say more hurtful thing she didn't mean. Instead he nodded, shooting her a soft smile, which she didn't return, before he left the room again.

In truth, Morgana hadn't felt right since last night, she still felt quite ill- but not ill enough to confine her to her bed, no- she would be fine, it would pass right? She only hoped…

The days lingered by, slowly and boringly- Camelot had never seemed so dull. Arthur and Morgana would meet in the hall for breakfast, whilst he would go and train with his Knights or go hunting, leaving her to sit around all day, doing nothing. She would sometimes read, walk around the grounds or go riding on her horse and recently she had developed a new phase for sewing. The day would drag until dinner, where she would meet Arthur and Uther and they would all inform each other of their dull day, before her and Arthur retreated to bed as Uther dwelled over council matters.

Morgana looked down at the bowl before her; it was full of porridge, creamy in colour and sloppy in texture. Normally she would have got on with it, because normally looks were deceiving and it would have been quite nice, but this morning, like every other morning this week it made her feel ill.

The sweet lingering smell of the honey that had been mixed through it filled her nostrils, it was too sweet. The smell was utterly disgusting, even though it was no different than before.

"Are you alright?" Arthur asked as he glared at her across the table, but she didn't bring her eyes to meet him, she continued to glare into the bowl before her. She gave a slow nod; the look of disgust on her face said it all.

"Look, I don't know why you persist on honeyed porridge if you don't like it." Arthur went on, chewing some of his buttered bread. Morgana brought her eyes to him, to see him smirking and chattering away.

"Here, take some toast." He told her, pushing his golden plate towards her. "No." She protested, as though he were pushing fried rat before her.

"What is it?" He asked, seeing her expression change. She felt her mouth water, readying itself for what was to come. Vomit.

Morgana said nothing, instead she just stood up and rushed out from the hall with her hand clasped over her mouth, hoping and praying that she would make it outside soon enough as Arthur froze on his seat, even Uther looking up from his documents.

"What's the matter?" Uther muttered, clearly not have listened to their conversation.

"I don't know…" Arthur said, his face washing of humour, replaced with bewilderment and concern. Instead he wiped his mouth with the napkin, before he pushed his chair out and wandered out to the hall, to see where Morgana had got to, and what the big rush was to get out.

Arthur left the hall to find Guinevere practically holding Morgana up. Morgana looked dreadful, worse than she had moments ago. Arthur furrowed his brows, confused as to what had just happened.

"I'll put her to bed Sire." Guinevere explained, trying to give a slight bow in his presence but failing due to the weight of Morgana burdening on her. "And then and come down and clear up the mess outside…" Guinevere said with wary eyes, assuming Arthur was aware.

Morgana's eyes hung heavy in her head, as she gave quiet groans here and there, never protesting about getting put to bed. "Shall I fetch Gaius?" Arthur piped up quickly, although never taking his eyes off Morgana.

Guinevere gave a small nod, and Morgana still never protested, obviously feeling too sick to want to do anything, and with that Guinevere led her upstairs and laid her to bed.

"I'm not aware as to why she feels unwell Sire." Gaius informed Arthur as he went to feel Morgana's forehead. "But I suspect it's something she ate…" Gaius brushed off.

"But she didn't eat anything." Arthur frowned, he wanted to know why his wife was ill, and Gaius's diagnoses didn't seem right. "Honestly Sire, I'll fetch her some healing honey, she should be fine." Gaius told him, and he heard Morgana give a small protest at the mention of 'honey', but they ignored it.

"Come, leave her to rest." Gaius told Arthur before he brushed past him and left. Arthur lingered at the door, seeing Guinevere he shot her a look of concern. "I will stay with her Sire." Guinevere told him, before he reluctantly left.

Morgana lay in her bed for less than an hour, each feeling of sickness disappearing slowly, until soon she felt much better, well enough to sit up in the bed and see Guinevere batting the curtains.

"Morgana." Guinevere smiled as she turned to her. "Gwen." Morgana replied back with a warm smile. "How are you feeling?" The maid asked. "Fine." Morgana replied quickly.

. "Why did you get Gaius?" Morgana frowned as Guinevere moved closer to the bed. "Arthur suggested… I thought it would be best." The maid tried to redeem herself as Morgana moved out of the bed and over to the window. "I mean…" Guinevere perked up, "You've vomited every morning since Sunday." The maid said, afraid of what way Morgana would react.

"It's only Tuesday Gwen." Morgana gave a small laugh, nothing to worry about.

"I know, but… well, aren't you concerned?" Guinevere asked her, somehow in disbelief. "No." Morgana scoffed. "I'm fine, it's just… a touch of flu, that's all- you heard Gaius." Morgana tried to explain, although wishing Guinevere would just drop it.

"It might be something serious Morgana." Guinevere stood up and walked over to her friend, afraid that Morgana wasn't taking this as seriously as she should. "What are you saying Gwen?" Morgana scowled, annoyed at her maid for all these questions. "Nothing… You know I just worry…" Guinevere backed down, not wanting to startle her Lady.

"I'm feeling much better now; you can leave me to change." Morgana muttered a touch of annoyance in her tone. "Don't you want me to help you?" Guinevere asked, confused. "I'm not a three year old child Gwen, leave me to dress." Morgana frowned, shooting her maid a look of anger, just wanting Gwen to go and leave her, that way she would be free of her questions.

"As you wish." Guinevere bowed out, noticing Morgana's sudden change in mood, though she daren't say anything.

Morgana watched until Gwen was gone from the room, before she shot over to the mirror. The sickening feeling returned, but it wasn't because she was unwell, it was because she was anxious and dare she say it, even frightened. She lifted her gown to see her stomach, it was swelled and rounded. No, no- this couldn't be true. She hoped it wouldn't be there, the lump growing on her stomach, the abnormality. But it was and it was even bigger than it had been last week.

Morgana felt a panicked flush wash over her, what would she do? What could she do? She never had any sexual relations with Arthur, or with anyone for that matter; how could this be? Perhaps it was an infection, an internal infection of the stomach… But who was she kidding- she knew what this was, but she feared to say the word, to even think it- because that only meant it was true.

She dropped the white gown as it fluttered and retreated by her feet, before she sat on the bed and rested her head in her hands, wanting to break down and cry. She was scared, more scared than she had ever been in her life, she had never felt so alone. How could she burden this? Walk around, just wanting to leech onto someone, anyone- for them to tell her it was going to be okay.

She did have Arthur, but she doubted he would comfort her when she informed him she was with child, and the two hadn't had any form of intimacy over the long months they were married, he'd just think she cheated on him, which she had done, but that was a while back- all brushed under the rug now and it had nothing to do with this. But she hadn't been intimate with anyone, in her entire life let alone in the past number of weeks, how could this be?

Magic. The thought almost made her laugh, and she would have done if she wasn't so afraid. But then, then it clicked. Magic, that was it- it was the only way. Magic was surely the only reason she could be cradling a foetus in her womb without anything of a sexual nature involved.

Uther. The second thought that shot to her mind, it was suddenly all making sense, as her mouth fell ajar and her eyes widened. He wouldn't… Not after Ygraine, not after what happened the woman he loved. But then, Uther didn't love Morgana, so it only made sense that he wanted her to die.

Morgana stood up, not realising how stupid she had been. Uther had informed her he would kill her if she refused to bore Arthur an heir, and then suddenly he had forgotten the whole thing, threw a feast in her honour, had her believe he had gladly forgiven her, that it was all in the past. How could she have been so naïve? Now he was going to get everything that he wanted, Morgana's death and a legitimate heir to the throne when Arthur's reign had come to an end, he just wanted to be safe in knowing a Pendragon always ruled Camelot- he didn't care about anyone else but himself and his Kingdom.

Morgana felt tears warm her eyes, the cold stab of realisation hitting her stomach. She was going to die in childbirth. When Uther had confirmed he would kill her, she had to admit it was better not knowing when, just to get it over and done with when she least expected it. But now she would carry a child, and listen to everyone coo and fuss about how much fun she would have being a mother, to listen to Arthur plan a new life for the three of them, when she would never get to live it, she feared she might never get to see her child, and to leave everyone behind, over one selfish man.

She was a coward, she didn't want to die, but then- who did? How selfish she had been. Arthur had loved her, given her everything, only for her to push it back in his face, and now she would have to leave him and she didn't want to, not really. Not now she was beginning to love him, and Uther had stolen all that away, but in truth it was her own selfish actions that had got her here in the first place. If she had just embraced married life, forced herself to love her husband, but she had been too stubborn, too bold to contemplate his feelings, and nonetheless she had hurt him, and ruined her own life, as well as his.

Arthur would be better off without someone like her, and she knew that. But now the thought of losing him became unbearable, until she realised she had been selfish enough, that she would have to let him go, even if she had only just got a hold of him. How could she cherish these short months they had left, it would only make it harder.

But then she heard the door opening from behind her, and she quickly wiped her eyes, to find her face tear stained, no denying that her emotions had got the better of her as she was lost in the long train of thought.

"How're you feeling?" She heard the strong, chivalrous voice of her Prince say from behind her, her worst nightmare- that he would catch her like this and what could she possibly say to fool him?

"Fine." She lied, looking to the window; she wouldn't dare turn around to face him, not now.

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked warily, aware that she was upset, he wasn't stupid. He could hear it in her voice and he saw how she kept lifting her hand to wipe her eyes.

"Yes." She told him, just wanting him to leave- she wouldn't have him know she was crying, the embarrassment would kill her.

"Why are you crying?" Arthur asked her at once, slowly making his way towards her. He didn't want to beat around the bush, she was upset and he wanted to know why, so he could fix it, he didn't care how much she protested of scowled- he would get an answer.

"I'm not crying." Morgana informed him, an edge of annoyance to her tone, shocked that he had been so forward; normally he would have left her, since he knew how she protested and that normally divulged its way into an argument.

"Come Morgana, I'm not that stupid." Arthur let a light chuckle escape his lips, to make her smile, to lighten the mood, but she wouldn't turn around. And soon, he was close to her, looking into her face, but she tried to move away and he had gripped her arm, wheeling her around to face him.

"Tell me what the matter is?" Arthur begged as he looked into her eyes, seeing the soft delicate tear tracks etched down her porcelain skin. But she refused to meet his gaze, which made him bring his fingers up to her chin and force her to look at him.

"Nothing…" She brushed off warily, meeting his gaze for no less than a second before she pulled away from his grip.

"I came to tell you that Gwaine, Leon and the others want to go to a tavern tonight." Arthur explained. "I might not be home until late." Arthur informed her, he knew how she worried when he stayed out late without him telling her.

"Why?" Morgana asked looking to him now, happy he still wasn't prying on what had happened before. "Well… You know what Gwaine's like." Arthur smirked with a slight shrug of the shoulders. "But, I won't go if you don't want me to." He defended at once, looking to her for a sign, anything.

"No, go." Morgana told him, shooting him a sort of soft smile, not wanting him to be concerned. "I don't want to leave you like this…" Arthur confessed, knowing over the past number of weeks she wasn't entirely well, and now here she was clearly upset over something, but she wouldn't tell him, not yet.

"I'm fine Arthur, and I'll be fine." Morgana explained, looking to his eyes now, wanting him to know that he did not need her permission. "I'll try and not stay out too late." Arthur said pulling her close and planting a small, delicate kiss on her cheek, before he rushed out of the room and stopped at the door. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" Arthur asked her finally, she gave a nod with a warm smile, before he returned it and left. Little did he know she was far from alright and that nothing he said or did could make it go away.


	7. Chapter 7 The Nightmare Begins Part 2

**Authors Note:**

_This is "The Nightmare Begins" Part 2! I hope you enjoy it. I had a lot of fun writing this part. (: Please R&R. _

Chapter 7

"_The Nightmare Begins"_

**Part 2**

Morgana lay in bed that night wide awake, tossing and turning, hating the cold abyss where Arthur would lie. When would he be home anyway? She lay in darkness, unable to sleep, afraid of what dreams would come, and she knew they would. Nightmares of her death, ones she couldn't face, not whilst knowing she was alone here, not having someone close by to shake her out of it. And then she would just lie awake scared and alone, she hated that.

She feared when Arthur returned though, the many times in the past week when he had held her in a warm embrace when he had been sleeping, she feared he would press his hands to her stomach and all would be revealed. The rushing thoughts of what she would do, the panic and the scariness all returned, she wanted to cry again- how could she take her mind off these harsh realities, and now she didn't want to be alone, she wanted Arthur, as crazy as that even sounded but for once she was craving him, because in truth he was the only one she felt safe with, even if she was keeping many truths from him.

Soon the door burst open, and she saw the wavering swagger of Arthur's silhouette break through the room and fall down upon the red chair to change, but he just about got his boots off. He was lightly making drunken laughs and muttered to himself before he fell into bed beside her, still fully clothed. He almost fell on top of her, which made her jump away, sitting up in the bed to see him laugh into his pillow.

"How much ale have you had?" Morgana asked, scrunching her nose up at the disgusting smell of alcohol from him. "What?" Arthur laughed drowsily turning to her, as she lay back down on the pillow beside him, feeling it was safe to do so now.

"Do you even know where you are?" Morgana shook her head in disbelief, of how someone could get that drunk. "Of course I know…" Arthur muttered into the pillow, his words were slurred and he was getting annoyingly obnoxious. "I'm with…" He sat up with his eyes half open, his words running into one long sentence. "…The most beautiful girl in the world." Arthur gave a slight drunken chuckle as his lips made for hers.

But as usual her lips remained motionless as she batted him off. "Arthur!" She squirmed, furrowing her brows and turning onto her side, annoyed at his behaviour. "What?" He questioned, wrapping his arms around her from behind, and she froze, pleading that he wouldn't _dare_ touch her stomach.

"Go to sleep." She snapped, feeling that she was much happier alone without his drunken arrogance. "Don't deny you're beautiful." He slurred into her ear. "Shut up Arthur." She told him, annoyance in her tone. "Oh come on." He giggled like a teenage girl. She fought with his hands locked around her, finally breaking them free.

"Morgana." He commented with a small drunken chuckle, barely able to keep his eyes from closing. "Shut up Arthur." She told him again, closing her eyes, wishing sleep would come, the nightmares couldn't be worse than this annoyance, surely.

Arthur rolled onto his back, laughing at nothing for a few moments before his laughter stifled and his snores echoed through the room. _Thank goodness_.

"Urgh…" Arthur groaned as Morgana got up the next morning. He raised his head from the pillows, the blinding light adding to the painful pressure of his sore head. "Shut the curtains…" He protested, making Morgana chuckle slightly, glad that he was suffering for how he was behaving last night, but she still hopped up and tugged the curtains closed for now.

"Well, next time I'm sure you'll think twice on drinking the tavern dry." She chuckled again, as there was a small knock on the door. "Come in." Morgana told them, giving a small laugh again at Arthur's expense.

Leon peeked his head around the door, looking as bad as Arthur. "The Prince is wanted to address Court matters with the King…" Leon groaned, not his true, formal self, due to his very bad hangover. Morgana laughed again to Arthur, feeling deeply sorry for him, but amusing at the same time, she looked to see him mutter as he pulled the covers around his head and rolled over to where she had been lying.

The days drifted past her once again, as Morgana tread slowly through the halls each day, anxious and frightened of what was to come, and what she was burdening. The rounding swell on her stomach grew a tiny bit larger every day, and soon she knew she would no longer be able to hide it, and that only panicked her. She was afraid of how Arthur would react. Would he be happy about the news? Would he loathe her and think she committed adultery against him? Or would he be happy? None of it mattered, what mattered was that each day drifting by was a day off her life, as the bump grew bigger her life grew shorter.

Morgana found herself alone in her room one morning, Arthur having left only moments ago to address council matters, but wanting to out riding with his wife, Morgana insisted she didn't want to, and that he should go spend the day with his Knights, claiming she would only be a bore, but really only wanting to distance herself from him, afraid his hand would accidently brush her stomach. But she finally agreed, seeing how happy Arthur was when she did only made her hate herself more.

But the loneliness didn't last- as soon Guinevere entered ready to dress her lady, although her reluctance was clear, Guinevere had noticed how Morgana fussed and batted her off when she tried to help her dress, as though she were hiding something…

"How are you this morning Milady?" Guinevere asked with a generous smile. "Fine." Morgana said quickly, returning her warm smile as she went behind her changing curtain.

"Have you anything planned for today?" The maid asked as she went to Morgana's wardrobe.

"I plan to go out riding, with Arthur." Morgana informed her, as Guinevere tossed a vibrant purple gown over the wooden screen.

"Oh, how lovely." Guinevere grinned sweetly, going to make the bed in which Morgana and Arthur had lay in moments ago.

"Will you be gone for the day?" Guinevere asked, wanting to make normal chit-chat with Morgana, her closest friend, but recently she had felt the drift between them, Morgana being more snappish than before, never telling her things like she used to.

"Oh, I 'm sure I'll be back before dinner… just a simple trek through the woods, nothing spectacular." Morgana explained, as she tried to do the buttons of her dress up the back, but she was struggling tremendously.

Should she ask Guinevere? It wasn't like she would have to feel her stomach.

"Gwen?" Morgana asked warily.

"Yes Milady?" Guinevere replied, turning her head from fluffing the pillows.

"Could you come and fasten this dress for me?" Morgana asked, as Guinevere dropped the feathered pillow and ran to Morgana's aid.

She tugged the satin covered buttons to try and get them to squeeze through the little lips made, but it would not stretch.

"Ah, Morgana…" Guinevere said, as she tugged the silk with all her might- but she would just end up tearing the dress. "It won't fit…" Guinevere told her, afraid of what Morgana's reaction might be.

"What do you mean it won't fit?" Morgana's eyes bulged panicked- what if Guinevere found out? Surely… Surely she wasn't _that_ big yet. Her clothes _had_ to fit, they just _had_ to!

"Make it fit Gwen!" Morgana almost yelled, taking her panicked disposition out on her maid. "I'm trying Milady…" Guinevere tried to inform her, to keep her calm. "Well, you're not trying hard enough!" Morgana snapped, wondering what on earth she would do now.

"Morgana, it's perfectly alright to gain some weight." Guinevere let a small laugh escape her lips, she knew Morgana and she knew she liked to keep her figure slim; it was understandable that she was upset at the thought of a little weight gain.

"Go fetch me a corset!" Morgana snapped, ignoring Guinevere's last remark. A corset would be thick and boned- it would be near impossible to catch a glimpse of a growing bump under one, and the thick laces could be laced loosely, so it would fit. It was her safest option.

"As you wish Milady." Guinevere replied, going to fetch something more appropriate out of her wardrobe. She found a royal blue gown hidden behind Morgana's delicate silks; it had a strong boned corset for the torso and a flowing matching blue skirt.

Guinevere allowed her to put it on and then laced it up accordingly, and Morgana could only sigh with relief when she found it had fit, _thank goodness._

She couldn't deny it felt strange, she wasn't used to wearing something like this, she was more accustomed to be seen in a light flowing silk gown rather than a thick, cotton boned corset, but it would _have_ to do, she didn't have a choice.

Morgana made her way out to the courtyard to find Arthur awaiting her, with a horse already saddled up and ready to go. He was rather pleasantly surprised to see her in a new style of dress, it was more like something Guinevere would wear, obviously it was lot more classier and had more of a Royal edge, but he knew Morgana enjoyed her silks rather than her corsets. Nevertheless he kept his thoughts to himself, she still looked radiant nonetheless.

Morgana however smiled lightly at him, conscious of the swell of her stomach, it couldn't be seen, but she feared he might notice.

Suddenly she felt warm, _too_ warm. A tremendous flush of heat washed over her as she approached her horse. And soon she felt sick, '_Oh no, not this again.' _Came the distinctive thoughts of her subconscious. But it wasn't like before, soon her head began to throb and her sight was fluttering away, being etched with black.

Arthur saw her lean on her horse for support- something wasn't right.

"Are you alright?" He asked at once, moving away from his own horse. But she didn't reply, her eyes were closed, as though she were trying to bat off a fury within.

"Morgana!" He half-shouted, wanting to grab her attention, but nothing. He made his way over to her, and grabbed her arms, commanding her to look at him, seeing she was flushed and looked sickly.

Morgana met his eyes, as though she had been captivated in a daze for the past number of minutes. The loud ringing in her ears had faded, and the black blotches were disappearing from her sight, when it occurred to her that she had almost fainted.

Still dazed and unaware, Guinevere came over, having escorted Morgana out moments ago.

"Are you alright?" Arthur asked deep concern in his tone.

"Yes, yes… It must have been the corset…" Morgana lied, knowing exactly what it was.

"We'll leave this riding trip for another day." Arthur informed her, planting a small kiss on her forehead.

"I'll take her to her room, Sire." Guinevere curtseyed and put her arm around Morgana, leading her back upstairs. Morgana didn't protest, but instead she feared what might have happened if she _did_ faint. Arthur would have taken her to Gaius, Gaius would have known exactly what the cause was, and then informed Arthur while she was still unconscious. She would have to tell Arthur, before it was too late.

Guinevere had left her in her room, taking her out of the corset and putting her in a loose ivory gown. Morgana dwelled by the window, gazing out, cradling the rounding bump of her stomach. It was bulging more day by day, and soon she wouldn't even need to tell Arthur, soon he would discover it all by himself, and more arguments would inflict, Uther would take his son's side, and Morgana would be left to fight this all on her own.

When would she tell him? And how? What would he do? Would he get angry with her, like he had done so at the beginning of their marriage? Or would he be forgiving? But she doubted it, having been so cold with him.

Of course, her thoughts were cut short, and Arthur entered the room- the moment was upon her, it was now or never.

"I'd ask you how you are." He began as he unbelted his sword, with a deep sigh. "But that's all I ever seem to do these days." He explained, feeling that after a great deal of thought, Morgana had been unwell for some time, he knew this but he expected it to pass, like every sickness should, but this one seemed to linger. If she wasn't complaining of feeling ill, she was vomiting. She was constantly having these warm flushes, and nearly always she refused to eat her breakfast. He was growing worried. How many times had she needed to be escorted back to bed due to feeling ill?

"There's something you're not telling me." He began, fearing she had some sort of terminal illness; of course he had always exaggerated.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Arthur asked as he slowly made his way towards her.

_Oh God…_ Morgana thought. He must know; someone must have informed him, maybe Guinevere… Now he had come out of rage, to confront her, to shout at her, to call her horrible names for betraying him.

But now, he was face to face with her, his deep blue eyes full of concern and sadness. "Anything at all?" he asked finally.

She shook her head, wanting to test him; if he knew he would say.

"Well… Morgana, it hasn't escaped my notice that you are unwell, and you have been unwell for quite a while." Arthur told her, his voice was stern but he never meant it to be.

Morgana looked away from him, feeling that she might cry if she looked into his eyes any longer. She wanted to tell him, and for him to tell her it was going to be alright- but he could never hold her like he used to, not after believing that she had slept around, when really- this was the making of magic, but like he would believe that.

"What is it?" Arthur pleaded, seeing that something was bothering her, like the time she had been crying alone all those weeks ago, she still hadn't told him what that was about.

"How can I help, if you won't tell me what it is?" Arthur begged again, wishing she wouldn't bottle everything up, he was here for her, but it was as though she would rather the burden the hardest of secrets than share anything with him.

This was it. Morgana would have to tell him now, now or never- this was her chance. Her only chance, she would have to bite her tongue and get on with it, just accept the beating she would get of his harsh words when she had informed him. He wanted to know, and now he would.

Morgana felt sick again with nerves, but she couldn't play on this any longer, Arthur was waiting on an answer and she would have to give him one. Without wasting any more time, she grasped his hand, unable to look at him, feeling ashamed.

Slowly, she moved his hand to her stomach, the territory she feared he would roam to himself if she kept this secret any longer.

Arthur hadn't the faintest idea of what she was doing. He expected her to entwine her fingers with his, or to give his hand a light squeeze and he was rather shocked to find her grip it and move it to her stomach.

Arthur looked to her, his face puzzled in bewilderment, but he pressed the light bump. Not understanding at first, but then it clicked.

"I am with child…" Morgana muttered out, not that it mattered, not that it wasn't obvious already.

Arthur's lips pulled into a wide grin, and suddenly his arms were around her, as he laughed joyously. She however could barely pull her lips into a smile, soon the glee would wear off and he would begin asking questions.

"That's wonderful!" Arthur beamed. "I'll have to tell father!" He piped up, Morgana having to hold back her rage; she could just imagine the horrid look of spite on his face when he would be told.

"Wait…" Arthur stopped, after a few moments. His brows furrowed in confusion as he looked to her. "We never…" Arthur began, as he waved his hand in motion trying to think of the right word. "You know…" He told her, his face distorted in a puzzled expression.

"Oh we did!" Morgana piped up at once, not knowing what she would say, but she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"We did?" Arthur furrowed his brows further, wanting to be enlightened.

"Yes, yes." Morgana explained. "You…You were drunk." She said at once, suddenly her mind flushed with thoughts of the night he had returned drunk out of his mind, and she had batted him off, annoyed.

"I was?" Arthur asked, confused. "Oh yes, you were besotted." She tried to explain trying her best to make it more believable.

"Right…" Arthur said, still his eyes were full of bewilderment.

"You came home late, and we… well…" She said, gesturing her hands to try and contemplate her words.

"Right, right." Arthur replied at once. "Yes, yes… we…" his sentence run short, suddenly feeling _very_ awkward.

"Yes." Morgana nodded, pursing her lips, feeling he had bought the entire thing, wanting desperately to sigh with relief.

"Right well…" Arthur commented, forgetting how happy he had been moments ago, his head was now a mess. He had truly gotten intimate with Morgana? She had really let him…

But he quickly snapped out of it, scratching his head as he walked to the door.

"I'll… just go and see to the horses, you know how Merlin is." Arthur informed her as he opened the door, just wanting an excuse to leave her, so he could go and try to remember some of what she had said.

"Right, right." Morgana brushed off with a wary smile, she couldn't help but chuckle at how silly he had suddenly become, but she still felt very bad at how easily he had bought her made up scenario. She knew that if she were in his shoes, she'd have happily slapped him around the face and scolded him for thinking her so _stupid_. Thankfully, Arthur was a shade dimmer than her, in these situations.

Morgana kept on her light ivory gown as she made her way to dinner that evening; her hair flowed in waves down her back. She had _nothing_ to hide anymore, and the feeling felt tremendous, although she still have other burdens to carry.

"Morgana!" Uther beamed as she entered the hall, he stood up to embrace her for a few short moments, and then allowed her to sit, across from Arthur, as it usually was. But she couldn't stifle a smile at the man she hated, the man that would kill her, the vicious and evil King sat next to her, who was so selfish it was beyond belief.

"Arthur has informed me of the great news!" He beamed as he munched over some chicken. "I believe congratulations are in order." He grinned, but she could see the smirk behind it.

"Thank you." She commented, not in the mood for much conversation, or for eating either.

"What's the matter?" Uther asked after a few moments.

"My appetite is no longer hungering me." She told him at once.

"It's fine, Morgana." Arthur informed her with a light smile, no longer believing she was dying of a fatal illness and glad that he was to become a father, he was now beginning to fuss over her, finally things were beginning to work out between them.

After a few long moments of silence, Uther looked to Morgana with a selfish glint in his eye. "Morgana… I can't help but notice that you don't seem overly excited at the thought of becoming a mother." Uther informed her, as he glared at her. He was testing her now, and she resisted the urge to get up and slap him, but she couldn't- for Arthur's sake.

"Father!" Arthur belted out at once, disbelief washed over him, at how inconsiderate he was being, and blunt.

"No, no." Uther brushed him away. "I'm just simply stating fact." Uther said, bringing his gaze back to Morgana.

Morgana stared back at him. "Well, I think it was a shock to all of us." Morgana confirmed. "Of course, I have my fears, as every mother should." She replied, holding her head up proud, two could play at this game.

"Well…" Uther laughed, looking down at his plate, finally bringing his defying gaze away from her. "Every pleasure has its price." He chuckled, but _that_ was the final straw.

Arthur held his mouth ajar and looked to his father, ready to scold him on his inappropriate and insensitive words, but Morgana stood up.

How dare he, how dare he tease and joke at her expense when this was his entire fault. _The rotten pig._ Without a second thought, Morgana grazed her hand over her goblet of wine, sending it over onto its side, the wine within it spilling out and soaking Uther's meal before it trailer off the table and stained his lap.

"I think you're right." She replied with a smirk, before she stormed out of the hall. Uther's brows furrowed in rage, as Arthur went to go after her, but Uther grabbed his son and pulled him back to his seat.

"You will leave her _be_!" Uther snarled through gritted teeth. But Arthur snagged away and stood up, glaring at his father with an edge of hatred in his gaze.

"_She is my wife_!" Arthur snapped aggressively. "And if you _ever_ speak to her like that again, it won't be _wine_ you'll be washing off your clothes!" Arthur snarled, as Uther looked up to him, but he was already making his way out of the hall.

Arthur had _never_ spoken to his father like that, and now all Uther could imagine was what Nimueh had said. What if Arthur was slipping away from him? And suddenly Uther realised, that this was all a big mistake…


End file.
